You know what stinks? Ladies who put fashionable trends before protection.

Remember the old days when your mom would push you and your father out the door for a few hours to host a “Tupperware party”? Yeah, that was kind of lame - but at least it wasn’t even half as lame as hosting a “Taser party,” the new trend all the ladies are following these days.

Now, before I get lambasted/tasered: I’m all about women’s safety. If some creepy dude is accosting a lady, tasers, pepper spray, rape horns, shrill yelling and biting are all good methods to distract their assailant. Sadly, this is not the point of Taser parties: these holler-if-you-hear-me lady congregations are all about wine, cheese and cutesy tasers that go well with this winter’s fashion.

Donning a hot pink, Swarovski-crystal decorated taser makes a mockery out of a real, very dangerous issue; calling it a “playful way to raise awareness” also doesn’t fly, seeing that it takes a wide array of hors d’oeuvres, bad lounge music and a couture sensibility to get these types of girls even mildly interested in protecting themselves.

Bone-headed fashionistas: quit playing Sex, Violence and the City and pack a normal taser - even if it clashes with your pumps.