The holiday season is around the corner, and that means you will be away from your girlfriend for an extended amount of time.

Upsetting…yes I know. Get ready for teary hugs at the airport and sad text messages 24/7. What could be more concerning will be your lack of ass for days on end and the scary fact that hometown scumbags could be putting serious moves on your lady.

How do we relieve this situation? Phone sex!

Of course it’s not as easy as saying, “Oh, church with grandma was great. Yeah…start talking dirty to me baby.” You need to be smooth and calculated in your advance.

“To begin, gently test the waters. “If you’re on the phone and the moment feels right, say, I’m imagining you are wearing the sheerest undies,’ and wait for her response,” advises relationship expert Dr. Jackie Black. You can also express your desire explicitly when you’re together. “Educate her about making love by using erotic language. If she isn’t interested in exploring this, she might not be a good sexual match for you. “If she’s trying, have patience, as even pros need time to get the hang of it.”

“Once I got use to men talking to me this way, I was fine,” says Victoria Parker, manager of the sex line 1-800-HOT-COED. “That’s the hardest part for a lot of women.” She notes that “good operators know to take things slowly until her caller’s at ease. If the conversation is off to a slow start our girl might share a fantasy.” So try that with your gal - just leave out the one involving her younger sister.”

When the going gets tough use these tips wisely and frequently. Also be sure to put the camera phone technology/webcam to good use!

Excerpts from Maxim Magazine