The Daily Shocker: Ass-Kickin’ Moustache Man

After a man with a sweet ’stache got heckled by a bunch of young teens he proceeded to kick one in the leg - gangsta! Sadly, he will be shaving off his most prized possession to “avoid trouble.” The world is a sad, sad place these days. (Daily Mail)

Is the fashion industry racist? Does the industry promoting tall, ivory stick-figures with tiny minds, odd faces and ridiculous clothes that no human would ever buy (outside of like-minded models) hate people of color? Say it ain’t so! (College Candy)

Scientist claims that people will be marrying robots - barely-functioning beings that will listen to your every command - in the near future. Uh, sorry to bust your bubble Mr. Doctor, but that has already happened; they’re called “trophy wives.” (Metro)

Kid posts an invitation to his 16th birthday on YouTube, hoping about 40 people show up. Let’s just say a few locals “crashed” the party. (Telegraph)

Vet performs surgery on a cat outside his clinic…while it burns down. (Post Gazette)

If you have a show called Nothing But the Truth, expect to have some mind-blowing tell-alls - and expect to be pulled off the air afterwards. (Excite)