Oh, October. A sweet, sweet month highlighted by the NFL and NCAAFB seasons in full swing, the NBA and NHL seasons getting underway and, of course, the MLB playoffs. The crux of the American sports universe lives here and it’s a wonderful thing. The race to the Fall Classic begins today and what else for a quasi-journalist to do other than make predictions that are bound to be wrong and to face intense ridicule. Sorry, I can’t pick everyone’s favorite team to take home the Series trophy, so here is how I see it.  (more…)

There is no history. No charm. There are no memories. But new Yankee Stadium is still a great ballpark. The main reason is because when you are in your seat, you don’t think you are in new Yankee Stadium. It looks so much like the old one. You feel like you are in a refurbished version of the empty stadium across the street.

Here are 10 more random thoughts and observations after attending Thursday’s opener:

(Image: Flickr user skyliner72)

Following in the wake of the Yankees’ signing of star first baseman Mark Teixeira is the deluge of tears flowing from the eyes of other team officials around the league.  Brewers owner Mark Attanasio complained that he spent $220M for his entire organization, while the Yankees just spent $423.5M on three free agents this month.

But am I missing something here?  Yes, they committed themselves to pay out $423.5M in future salaries, but that is over an eight-year span.  Next year’s payroll only assumes $62M of that money ($23M + $22.5M + $16.5M), which is still $26.5M less than the $88.5M that came off the books this offseason.  So why was nobody whining when last year’s Yanks were watching the playoffs on TV with a much higher payroll?

Last I checked, the entire league didn’t resemble a nursery room full of whining babies when the Chicago Cubs signed their name on the dotted lines of nearly $300M in future salaries in the winter of 2006 after finishing with a disgusting 66-96 record.  So why all the fuss now over another off-season spending spree?

Because of the state of the current economy?  No.

Then why?  Oh yea, because we are talking about the New York Yankees – the 26-time champion New York Yankees who have kept franchises like the Florida Marlins and Tampa Bay Rays afloat since the dawn of the luxury tax.  Teams like the envious Brewers and Marlins need to stop talking about a salary cap and start putting the revenue and profit margin they generate back on the field instead of in their pockets for the fans to enjoy – the same way the Yankees have been doing it for decades.

(Image: NYTimes.com)

Following a disappointing season that saw the Yankees fail to reach the postseason for the first time since 1993, amidst the festivities of the final season in beloved Yankee Stadium, they realize that they must make a strong statement this off-season.  There is one main objective for revamping this underachieving roster: Add young superior talent.

They have colossal holes in four main areas: the starting rotation, no true first baseman, ancient options in left field and absolutely nothing in center field.  With roughly $90M coming off the payroll, now is the time to act.

The first priority was the shortcomings of the pitching staff.  The Yanks managed to win 89 games last season despite heavy workloads from Darrell Rasner, Sidney Ponson, Dan Giese, and other hilarious options.  This is unacceptable.  Brian Cashman and his cronies ponied up to pay a combined $43.5M per year on the young power arms of C.C. Sabathia and A.J. Burnett.  Once Andy Pettitte decides to return as an anchor at the fifth starter slot at a discounted price, the rotation will be set.

However, Cashman has been susceptible in the past with his questionable decision making regarding position players.  Think of the off-season after the 2004 season – Yanks were coming off the collapse to the Red Sox and instead of upgrading their center field position with Carlos Beltran, they decided to blow their wad on Randy Johnson and Carl Pavano.  I think we all know how those two moves worked out and now they are twiddling their thumbs with Brett Gardner in center field.

The Yanks upgraded by sending little used utility man Wilson Betemit to the White Sox for Nick Swisher to play first base and outfield, and have entertained the notion of trading Melky Cabrera to the Brewers for center fielder Mike Cameron.

But why bring in another 36 year-old washed-up outfielder at $10M per year when you already have two others, Johnny Damon and Hideki Matsui (each make roughly $13M), fighting for playing time?  Wouldn’t they be better off shelling out the $22M to Mark Teixeira and moving Nick Swisher into center field?

Teixeira is a 28 year-old gold glove first baseman.  Have the Yanks had a real first basemen who can play solid defense and hit for power and average since Tino Martinez in 2001?  No.

Cashman needs to realize that now is the time to strike, and strike effectively and intelligently.  Grab Teixeira, who will provide stability at the first base position for the first decade of the new Stadium.  He will crush the ball to the new short porch in right and is a solid player with a bull work ethic in the weight room.  Let Manny Ramirez go play in LA.  Then, save the $26M that will be shed off the payroll next summer (from Damon and Matsui’s corpse) and invest it in another young stud in the outfield, namely Matt Holliday.

The solution is simple – sign the high quality players while they are entering their prime, not after they just completed it.  Cashman took the first step by upgrading the pitching staff while lowering the average age.  Now its time to do the same for the position players.

(Image: Gothamist)

Photo by Jim McIsaac/Getty Images

New York Yankees pitcher Mike Mussina is calling it quits after a brilliant 18-year career.  Sure, the Moose very well might take his 270 career victories, 17 consecutive seasons with 11 or more wins, and 2,813 strikeouts to the Hall of Fame one day; but for Yankee fans, it is a time to consider that this could be the end of a relatively dark era in recent memory because of one pivotal decision gone wrong.

The Yanks were winners of three-straight titles, four of the past five, and entered the winter after the 2000 season with intent to go for the jugular.  With two prized free agents available, the Yanks knew they had to make the right choice to stay on top.

They then signed the number-one pitcher available over the number-one hitter available – Moose over Manny. (more…)

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Twelve Years ago, Joe Torre became the manager of the New York Yankees and guided them to the pinnacle of the baseball world in only his first season at the helm.  When Charlie Hayes made the final out in Game 6 of the 1996 World Series, the Yankees won the world championship for the first time in 18 years. (more…)

With the passing of Rosh Hashanah, this weekend officially kicked off the Year of the Fox… Megan Fox.  Her new movie How to Lose Friends and Alienate People opened Friday and a slew of upcoming foxy features are set to hit the big screen in the coming months.  But we don’t really need an excuse to post pics of Megan wearing a bra now, do we?

(click photo to see full gallery)

Friday, October 3rd 2008

The Female Casualties of 2008

Hollywood’s hottest are dropping faster than one-legged man in a backflip contest. As FHM says, “the world’s hottest women are getting married, having babies or committing similarly selfish acts at an alarming rate.”

Let’s sit back and re-live the glory days of these hotties by heading to FHM and soaking in pictures from an time before they went off the deep-end.

Why They Yankees Are the Red Sox’s B*tches

Since the end of 2003, the Red Sox have won two World Series championships, while the Yankees haven’t even made a return trip. We all know about the 2004 Red Sox and their triumph over the Yanks, coming back in the ALCS after being down three-games to one. However, what is interesting to look at how things have changed since 2003 as a direct result of how the Red Sox talent evaluators have fared much better head to head against the once-mighty Yanks.

Who Is Joe Six Pack, Anyway?

If you watched the VP debate last night you heard a lot about Sarah Palin’s BFF, Joe Six Pack. But who is he? What does he like? What does he do?We don’t know Joe Six Pack personally (though we have hooked up with his cousin, Mark Quarter Barrel…who could not keep it up), but we imagine he’d be something like this.

How To Visit a Sex Shop

If you haven’t already gone, you have to visit a sex shop. They are full of interesting toys, books, and movies. You’re in college to learn and sex should be part of your education. One wants to know how to do it well, and the resources found at sex shops can help you achieve top performance in the bedroom. Think of sex shops as the sex educational library, except these books and movies you can’t return, but who would want to do that?

Thursday, October 2nd 2008

Celebrities Stoners Caught on Camera

I was surfing the new today and ran across a story on City Rag called Pot Break that features images of celebrities and common folk like you and I getting stoned in NYC.

It reminded me of a COED story from way back when called 13 Celebrity Stoners Caught on Camera.

NFL vs NCAA: Football Cheerleader Showdown

Ladies and gentlemen, we are full-on into football season and you know what the means – lots of sitting on the couch. But besides hours and hours of watch the greatest game ever created, it means tons of super hot cheerleaders prancing around just to get you in the mood.

Halloween is Dogsh*t: One Dude’s Bitter Rant

I hate Halloween. I have always hated Halloween. One of the first pictures anyone ever took of me is in a pumpkin costume at age 4, crying my eyes out. I don’t hate other people who like Halloween, but the holiday itself makes me so pissed that when prompted to write a Halloween article I refused to write a positive one.

So if you want to hear about why Halloween rocks you should go somewhere else because I f*cking hate it and I’m about to make you hate it too by listing some reasons why it’s terrible and should be canceled.

Wednesday, October 1st 2008

MLB Playoff Preview: Hot Fans Edition

As October rolls in so too do the MLB Playoffs. After 162 games 8 teams remain for a chance to make it to the World Series. Below are the divisional series which begin today. But as always, just sports isn’t enough, so we’ve put together a ton of hot fans to help guide you through the action. Because, really, if you’ve got sports and babes, what else do you really need?

How This Financial Mess Got Started

At COED we’re not only about boobs and beer – we also like to educate. Sometimes…

By now you’ve all heard about the financial crisis gripping America Earth, but most of us aren’t high finance majors – so you might be in the dark about what is going on and how it started. This is highly important information people – time to get in the know!

5 Things Rachel Maddow Should Consider to Conceal Her Adam’s Apple

Don’t get us wrong – we really like Rachel Maddow. Her analysis is tempered and even-handed. All in all, she’s a refreshing voice in a grimy mud puddle of political blather. But she has got to do something about her freakin’ wardrobe.

For some poor reason, they’ve decided to box her in a long-necked, wide coat that makes her appear she completely naked under her blazer – and not in a good way. On top of that, it looks as though she has a giant f**king Adam’s apple. We can’t help you with the blazer, but we’ve come up with a few ways she can divert attention from that nugget in her throat.

Tuesday, September 30th 2008

Top 10 Hot Ass Hollywood Jews

If you’re on a mission to find the world’s hottest Jewish girls (why wouldn’t you be?), there’s no better place to look than Hollywood, USA. So to get in on the Rosh Hashanah (the Jewish New Year) festivities, we’ve put together the sexiest Chosen Ones this side of Tel Aviv.

Top 10 3AM Infomercial Products That Don’t Suck

Infomercials are typically a point of humor for the drunk, high and insomnia-prone. You stumble home from the bar or party at 4am, turn on the TV and laugh at how excited people are over solutions for modern living. But what about the products they sell on infomercials that might actually be worth writing down that impossibly long 800 number.

Farren from Boston is Today’s Daily Snapshot

We know exactly two things about this girl – Jack and sh*t and Jack just left town. But since Farren is one of the hottest Daily Smokeshows ever featured on Barstool Sports, we couldn’t help make her our Snapshot. I’m sure you don’t mind at all.

Monday, September 29th 2008

The Week In Re-Boob: Sept. 22nd – 28th

Welp, it’s Monday, again, and you know what that means! Another Week In Re-Boob! We’ve got all the hottest galleries the interweb has to offer. So don’t worry if you missed any of last week’s skintastic sexiness, we’ve got you completely covered. You might want to take a deep breath before diving into this one.

Bye Bye Bunnies: Hefner Facing Possible Bankruptcy

Is God just f**king with us today or something? First the economy takes the express elevator down the sh*tter and now we hear that Playboy may be heading down the tubes. Apparently Hef has been given two options by the Playboy top brass: Let some bunnies go or let them all go.

Austin City Limits Music Festival Girls

If you didn’t get a chance to hit up the Austin City Limits Music Festival this past weekend, then you definitely missed out on some of the best shows this year – and a ton of super hot festival chicks running around in bikinis. Luckily for us all, COED had an all-access pass to the action and we were sober enough to remember to bring a camera. So even if you missed the event, its greatness will be preserved here forever.

Happy 21st Birthday Hilary Duff!

For Hollywood stars, underage drinking is a non-issue. It is confirmed by family members that Britney was blowing lines of coke at 16, so I’m willing to bet the farm that even though Hilary Duff had her 21st birthday over the weekend, she probably had her first beer years ago.

Last year, the New York Mets were overtaken by the Philadelphia Phillies in the final weeks of play as they suffered one of the worst September breakdowns in baseball history.  That agonizing finish set General Manager Omar Minaya in motion over the winter, making sure that he acquired an ace-quality arm to provide consistency and excellence down the strectch in a playoff race.  Now, his plan is beginning to look genius…but will it be enough? (more…)

Ever since George Steinbrenner rode off into the sunset and left the prestigious New York Yankees in the hands of his sons and mastermind Brian Cashman, the franchise hasn’t fared too well. As the Yankees stand on the crossroads of 2008, riddled by injuries and personal moves that just haven’t panned out, one could think old George would come back and try and right the ship. One could think a conversation between him and Cashman would sound something like this… (more…)