We’re not sure how they’ve done it, but by some dastardly karmic injustice these 10 a-holes have made successful careers for themselves as comedians by… being about as funny as putting your dog to sleep. For whatever idiotic reason, everyone went along with the shams long enough to make these people into celebrities. We’re not saying we could do their jobs better, we’re just saying it wouldn’t have been hard to find someone who could. So without further adieu – The Top 10 Most Unfunny Comedians of All Time.

Disclaimer: It’s no surprise that Dane Cook made this list – being that he’s such an amazing, incredible douchebag. However – in the spirit of full disclosure – we must admit that Dane Cook was on the cover of the print edition of COED Magazine in 2006. But that’s all in the past – from the days when COED was run by delusional idiots who wished they were Dane’s buffer boys. We’re not them. (more…)

The fans have had enough and now apparently so has the owner’s son and vice chairman of the Detroit Lions.  It is time for General Manager Matt Millen to go.  Where to?  Anywhere but the Lions’ front office.

According to a report in the Detroit Free Press earlier this week, William Ford Jr. spoke out and said he would have fired General Manager Matt Millen if he had the authority to do so.  The Lions have been an atrocity ever since 2001 – the same season Matt Millen was hired as the team’s CEO and GM.  The team he inherited went 9-7 in the 2000 season, but has lost nine or more games in every single season since his infamous hiring.

The team has been the laughingstock of the NFL over the past decade.  Millen’s Lions sport a league-worst 31-84 since his hiring, haven’t made an appearance on Monday Night Football since 2001, all while Millen has made countless hilariously awful Draft-day decisions – most notably using four consecutive top-10 selections on college wideouts, including the super-bust picks of WRs Charles Rogers and Mike Williams. (more…)

Whether it’s decorating a tree, tabletop or doorway this holiday season, nothing spreads holiday cheer better than odd ornaments that make people feel uncomfortable. Deck the halls with…tampon snowflakes? Star Wars menorahs? At least they’re festive, I guess.

Check out the odd ornaments gallery after the jump. (more…)

The life of an actor in Hollywood is tough.

Between making ludicrous sums of money for playing make-believe, a demanding schedule consisting of people asking questions about celebrity life and paparazzi constantly snapping pictures, an actor must want to just curl up in a ball and not be bothered sometimes – preferably in their private jet or one of their many million-dollar homes.

Am I jealous? Somewhat. Am I angry? Absolutely!

All we ask of actors is to not suck – it’s that simple. But some of Tinseltown’s elite seem to have a problem accomplishing that single task. Loads of money and zero standards breeds bad movies, and the following stars have sold off their talents for cold, hard cash.

To the following offenders: shame, shame, shame. (more…)

Back in Ye Olde Tinseltown days, most top-earning stars were stellar actors, singers and dancers, with none of the skills being a crutch to support a lack of talent.

Celebrities were, for the most part, blue-collar workers for the public, earning their fame by signing on to numerous films at once, rigorously training and studying various fields in the name of entertainment.

Fast forward 30-odd years and Flavor of Love’s New York is famous for being a outspoken bitch slathered in pancake makeup; Paris Hilton puts out an perfume ’cause, uh, why not; Sanjaya Malakar is praised for his “great spirit” while butchering the simplest of songs; Dane Cook sells out Stadiums with arm-farts and aimless crowd whooping.

The worst of it? These hacks not only suck at their day jobs: they find it necessary to plague other fields of entertainment by becoming entrepreneurs. (more…)

Outside of being the most unfunny comedian of the new millennium – his shtick is one-part enunciating certain words and phrases for cheap laughs and two-parts “cutie-pie” Abercomedy and Fitch – Dane Cook is gay. Really, really, really gay. Don’t let his teaming up with Jessica Alba in Good Luck Chuck fool you: Dane Cook rails dudes.

If his limp, non-comedy wasn’t already an indicator of his fagginess, his new “song” rams his wild boner-for-boys straight up the non-proverbial pooper. Only 12-year-old sissy boys (or people with the stunted taste of a 12-year-old sissy boy) like Dane Cook – no exceptions.

Mitch Hedberg and Bill Hicks are both rolling in their graves.

“When did mediocrity and banality become a good image for your children?” – Bill Hicks