Last night, a couple of lucky schmucks from Idaho and Washington had the numbers 4, 8, 15, 25, 47, 42 and won the Mega Millions jackpot. They will share a $355 million jackpot. And since I’m broke, I was pretty pissed off it wasn’t me. Then I made myself feel better by remembering that most people who win the lottery have their lives ruined by the money. But that got me thinking, what exactly are you supposed to do, if you miraculously win, to keep it from ruining you life? (Surprisingly, “hookers and coke” is not the right answer.) After a little research, I’ve come up with a few quick tips for how to conduct yourself after becoming richer than your wildest dreams.

Wednesday, a lucky Queens, New York resident won a staggering $133 million in the Mega Millions state lottery. And since I live in Queens, I was pretty pissed off it wasn’t me. Then I remembered that most people who win the lottery have their lives ruined by the money. But that got me thinking, what exactly are you supposed to do, if you miraculously win, to keep it from ruining you life? (Surprisingly, “hookers and coke” is not the right answer.)