When we last saw the former Mrs. Federline attempt a comeback, Britney and her belly were shamefully sprawled across the stage at the 2007 VMA’s. Fast-forward 14 months later and Brit-Brit is at it again.  This time she’s chosen Germany’s Bambi Awards to test the water.  Could there be a country more sympathetic to reinvention than Germany?  Like Frick & Frack.

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As usual, last night’s Video Music Awards sucked a**.  The geniuses at MTV have succeeded in turning what was once a borderline semi-entertaining awards show into a series of tedious advertisements between more advertisements.  Great Job!

But despite all the foolishness, the sexy starlets came out in numbers, and for the most part, were looking dy-no-mite.  So, rather than making you search thru all those grocery-store-checkout-line-webzines for a little bit o’ VMA leg, we have taken it upon ourselves to weed out the wack and give you the jack.

BTW Pink- You saying “Lemme Check My Flow” in a song has a way different connotation than when Eminem says it… and the thought makes me throw up in my mouth a little bit.

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I’m an equal-opportunity reviewer. Top 40 pop is hardly my favorite kind of music, but gimme (gimme) a well-crafted album of well-produced pop and I”ll find nothing but praise for it.

Britney Spears has seen more resurgences and backlashes than any pop star not named Michael Jackson. From losing custody of her kids to her disembodied performance at the VMAs, Brit has been an overexposed part of pop-culture that we cannot run away from…no matter how hard we try.

So, Blackout: it’s low-energy, manufactured trash. To hate Britney Spears the Person is commonplace and expected; but hating Britney Spears the Artist – “artist” has never sounded so poor – sparks violent criticism from the lowest depths of the music-listening community: teenyboppers. (more…)

What do you get when you mix a bleached midwestern queen screaming under his bedsheet, with a monotonous, bouncing, electric piano line?

A whole lot of pain – chocolate pain. Here is our rendition of the newest YouTube crazy, Chris Crocker ranting over Tay Zonday’s viral classic, “Chocolate Rainâ€?.

The end result ain’t pretty. We apologize in advance.

Last night the 2007 MTV Video Music Awards proved that a large chunk of the entertainment world is ruled by talentless hacks.

From technical difficulties (did anybody sound-check anything beforehand?) to only showing snippets of live performances by music’s heavy-hitters at various locations around Las Vegas – Kanye, five-times snubbed out of awards last night, is reportedly through with the VMAs after his performance was butchered by execs – MTV has fully transformed into a Metric Ton of Visuals.

The highlights lowlights:

Britney’s show-opening, pace-making, stupefying, phoned-in performance of her single “Gimme More.” Even Spears’ super-fans were stunned by her carelessness. As for the “magic” of Criss Angel assisting Brit? Smoke and mirrors, I guess – just like Brit herself.

Sarah Silverman’s harsh put-downs of Brit left the room in a deep silence. F***ing everybody looked away when the camera panned to them after any of Silverman’s barbs towards Brit. Just one more example of celebs having all the money and power in the world and doing nothing short of saving face. Despicable.

Check out the video link (and more pics) of Brit’s performance after the jump.

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What. Is. Going. On.

This is the sloppiest award show ever, and everybody with respected talent seem to be causing it…purposely!

WHAT DID BRITNEY DO? WHAT THE HELL WAS THAT??

What is happening?

Is this the first death knoll onto pop culture?

Are the VMAs inadvertently exposing the talentless wasteland that is pop music?

This is so awesome! Everybody is wasted! (more…)