On Saturday we hit the town (“the town” being Bahama Mama’s in Hoboken, NJ) to pick up on some lingo (“lingo” being the incomprehensible language of North Jersey Guidos).

North Jersey is full of obnoxious Guidos (this guy, this guy, this guy, this guy, and this guy) that will use just about any ridiculous line to pick up a club slut. Seeing that we were smack dab in the middle of Douchebag Central, we found more Guidos spitting game to their orange-skinned counterparts than you could shake a hairspray can at.

After the jump you will see a collection of pick up lines North Jersey Guidos that were used out of desperation on the most romantic of nights. (more…)

Valentine’s Day is coming up fast, and that means you’re going to be neck-deep in flowers, chocolate and tiny candy kisses before you can say “kill me now.” So to help balance out the lame side to this holiday of love, we’ve found the 13 hottest Valentines on the Net. Luckily for you, it turns out that pretty much any girl with “Valentine” in her name spends most of her time taking off her clothes (among other things.) So get ready for the best Valentines you’ve ever received! (more…)

For most guys, Valentine’s Day (which is Saturday, BTW) just means a lot of planning, stressful card-buying and  spending a lot of money on a chick that would ordinarily have sex with you for free.  So we’ve put together a whole lot’a voluptuous V-Day vixens to help you amp yourself up for the romantic run-around – and to give you something to help get you through the dry period afterward, if you happen to f**k things up.

Look out single guys! This Valentine’s Day when you’re out with the guys trying to pick up single babes remember to wrap it up if you get lucky!

Guys are typically the ones giving ladies gifts on this day of love, but if your not careful that promiscuous one-night stand might give you a gift of her own.

Yup, I’m talking about Valentine’s Day STDs! To get better acquainted with the most popular of the bunch check out the 8 Greatest Valentine’s Day Diseases. We’re not telling you this to freak you out , its just that sometimes that trashy blonde taking shots of tequila might give you more of a Valentine’s Day gift than you bargained !

Today, Friday March 14th is Steak and BJ Day, a man’s answer to Valentine’s Day.

Watch the following Break.com video to get a full explanation on what Steak and BJ Day is all about.

I know, I know – Valentine’s Day has been over for almost a week. But this has to been:

Hey! It’s Valentine’s Day! Exclamation point!

If you’re anything like me, you find Valentine’s Day silly and not important in the grand scheme of a relationship. Still, you would be quite the a**hole to not show some sort of nice gesture on the holiday. If anything, mocking it is the best way to go. If your girl isn’t a humorless sack of ice in the lap, reserve a candlelit dinner at White Castle, or something to that extent. Do something fun and spontaneous that doesn’t require you or her stressing about money.

Or, you can order a gift today to be delivered in the near future. Who cares if it arrives late – it’s a gift. Who gets mad about receiving a gift, really? (more…)

Although I find myself resisting at times, it’s hard to truly knock The Smiths. Morrissey, the saddest sack of the 80s (take that, I’m Your Man-era Leonard Cohen!) has influenced the lion’s share of emo Cub Scouts that sing sob stories today. But why listen to the shrill, pompous vocals of Bright Eyes when Moz can give you a metric-ton of sadness in just one verse?

The folks at Viva Moz must’ve wondered the same thing, thus creating a line of Morrissey Valentine’s Day cards. That’s right: the Pope of Mope, not exactly known for being optimistic, has cards bearing his choice verses to be sent on the most romantic of holidays. (more…)

Daniella Sarahyba – 2008 Sports Illustrated Swimsuit Issue [Grumpiest]

Gisele Bundchen @ Rio Fashion Shows, Autumn/Winter 2008 [Bastardly]

The Worst Food In America And I Would Still Eat It [Dlisted]

Paris Hilton’s Brother Ran Over Someone, Got a DUI [IDLYITW]

Bar Refaeli Doesn’t Need a Bikini to be Perfect [Egotastic]

Sarah Michelle’s Eyes Send Up Smoke [Just Jared]

Pregnant Jamie Lynn Spears Offers Teen Boy Sex [Pop Crunch]

Ampex2000 Finished Posting Chris Berman YouTube Videos [Busted Coverage]

V-Day MixTape: Side A “Love Sucks” [College Candy]

Britney Spears in her Natural Habitat [Grumpiest]

The 5 Ballsiest Con Artists of All Time [Cracked]

Marisa Miller Topless on the Cover of the 2008 Sports Illustrated Swimsuit Issue [Egotastic]

Alessandra Ambrosio Picture Moment [Hollywood Tuna]

Hilary Duff Looks Good in Stupid Outfits [Grumpiest]

Wake Up with Kathleen Robertson [Barstool Sports]

If Valentine’s Day Cards Were Honest… [Cracked]

Kate Walsh Gets Re-Flowered [Just Jared]

Sophia Bush @ Marc Jacobs Fashion Event in NYC [Bastardly]

Where Have All the Good Lines Gone? [College Candy]

Tony Siragusa Sings Duet With Navy Boy Toy [Busted Coverage]

Britney Spears Gets Trained [IDLYITW]

Scarlett Johansson and Natalie Portman “Today” Video [Pop Crunch]