Euphemisms are supposed to be less offensive expressions for potentially objectionable words. Sometimes, though, the euphemism sounds just as bad, if not worse, as the dirty word itself. In the case of “vagina”, we found some real wieners… sorry, winners. Check out our list of 10 words you should probably avoid when dishing out the dirty talk lest you want a knuckle sandwich in the kisser after the jump!

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Virgins have been endlessly idolized throughout history, not only as symbols of purity and innocence, but as things that are also awesome to put your d*ck in. Sure, they don’t have diseases, and yeah, their vaginas are tight. But the ‘pleasure’ aspect of that laundry list? Hardly! Here are the top 5 worst things about deflowering a virgin.

“That bong doesn’t look anything like a vagina,” you might be thinking right now. And you couldn’t be more right. But that’s because it’s not supposed to look like a vagina. You’re supposed to stick it in one to use it.
Let’s let the patent do the talking:
The lower end cooperates with the wall of the vagina… Click to read more

Paris Hilton Topless Pictures
[Grumpiest]
NJ Nets’ Dancers Are Dunking Divas
[Busted Coverage]
Rihanna in Leather [NSFW]
[Drunken Stepfather]
Biggest Mouth I’ve Seen
[Crave]
Jessica Simpson Is Not Ugly
[Hollywood Tuna]
Kate Beckinsale’s Vagina is a Tomb
[IDLYITW]
Drew Barrymore is a Bikini Babe
[Just Jared]
Starbucks!!
[Bastardly]
Ste… Click to read more

Film School Rejects is dedicated to one thing: drunkenness. The site has been slowly turning its readers into stumbling drunk fools by making drinking games out of each weeks new movie releases.Take a look at some of the most ridiculous drinking games of 2008 — some of which will definitely lead to death if done correctly. As a bonus, there’s a special d… Click to read more

I’m not sure if film-festival favorite Teeth, a story of a girl practicing abstinence who happens to have a toothy, terrifying vagina, is a straight-up horror flick or a delicious exercise in dark satire. Whatever Teeth turns out to be, expect to hear a strong buzz about it leading up to its limited release in theaters (New York and L.A.) November 30.
No… Click to read more

The crotch wars have officially begun…
First, College Candy reported that German perfume company Vulva Original (website NSFW) had concocted the real scent of a woman – a vagina-scented spray for fetishists.
Now the fellas have hit back hard with Tom Ford’s latest fragrance.
Tom Ford’s chemists have struck gold with Black Orch… Click to read more

I’m down for poonany preservation, but this is something else.
Virgin Cream, a $60 cream that acts as a vajajay time-machine of sorts that (supposedly) tightens up a woman’s womanhood back to its more “youthful” days. The website boasts claims such as this:

If You Would Like To:
Be a woman that nearly all men… just can’… Click to read more

The hot tub: thought by many to be the ultimate in places to have sex. It’s comfortable, relaxing, heated – it’s the aquatic equivalent of a vagina! So why should you not have sex in one?
According to studies by a (virgin) urologist, hot tub humping may not be very safe.
The old rumor of man becoming infertile after too many trips to the tub has… Click to read more

You know when you walk into your dorm room and get a little skeeved out because it’s like, real obvious someone just had sex in there?
Well, apparently, there are people who want that slight but noticeable smell around them at all times.
Vulva Original (I’m not joking) is one of the newest sexual oddities to hit the market.
Its developers insist Vulva “is… Click to read more

Tues. 9/18 – You Just Don’t Feel Like It
Wed. 9/19 – You’re Having Orgasmless Sex
Thurs. 9/20 – You Secretly Think Sex Is Dirty
Women’s magazines slip us the kind of information that we wouldn’t find elsewhere; they reveal a female perspective that most men just aren’t privy to. How they read into our beha… Click to read more

The dudes over at Truckblogs (no, I don’t usually frequent a site dedicated to all things vehicle, I was given the address by a friend) think they’ve discovered the secret behind that Dodge ram symbol.
According to these dudes who like cars, the symbol is way more feminine than anyone has ever given it credit for.
I only wish this graphic had been around while I w… Click to read more

This weekend marked the kickoff of this years annual ‘Running of The Bulls’ in Pamplona Spain. So far, after only the 2nd of 8 bull runs scheduled for this year’s San Fermin Festival, things have already lived up to the brutal reputation. Already two have been gored and at least 7 people have been crushed in Sunday’s run. Thousands of people head out to… Click to read more