If I had a chimpanzee, I would surely dress it up in “people clothes.” I think it would be “funny.” But does the chimp have any say in the matter? Hell no. And when that day comes and it attacks me, would people be so damn surprised? Absolutely not – because f**king around with dangerous wild animals is unnatural and retarded. To prove our point, here are the Top 5 Animal Maulings. (more…)

Last night, my friend Jane told me the craziest f**king sh*t I’ve ever heard. In fact, I doubt what I’m about to tell you has ever happened before in all of history. But I must say, this story’s not for the feint of heart. So unless you think incredibly horrible things happening to super dumbasses is gut-bustingly hilarious, I’d recommend you stop reading right now. Otherwise, your mind is about to be blown. (more…)

Alert! Alert! COED is giving one lucky user a bunch of cool sh*t!

And by “cool sh*t,” I mean, a pair of tickets to the 2008 Bonnaroo Music and Arts Festival, an XBOX 360 and much more!

Here’s how it works: Visit our Bonnaroo Promotions giveaway page, fill in your info and BLAM!–on May 29th we will draw a winner from the hat.

Winners will be announced via email. Losers, on the other hand, will have their deepest, darkest secrets revealed to the entire world. (Kidding…kinda.) Enter now, and good luck!