Thanks to the wonders of technology, weapons systems have advanced to the stage where there no longer need to be any moving parts. Furthermore, weapons that the general public knows as “futuristic” are considered yesterday’s news to the shadowy, corporate weapons developers. Our ignorance doesn’t take away from the fact that what these companies have released to the public is completely mind-blowing. It really makes you wonder what kinds of killer merchandise they have in the works right now. All we can show you are five of the most high-tech weapons you wouldn’t believe existed but do — they’re after the jump!

In today’s edition of Wrap It Up, we cover Xzibit tweeting that planking is racist, a Rangers fan who died diving for a ball, Ohio State vacating all of last year’s victories, Kenny Powers is the new CEO of K-Swiss, Yao Ming retiring, Ron Swanson loving food, Heidi Klum on the cover of GQ Russia, Tony Parker’s jet pack, Kellie Pickler’s bikini, Bacon Man, fun facts about the vagina and much more. Check out the sh*t we should’ve published after the jump.

Everyone wants to be a superhero. The powers, the gadgets, the crazy chicks with White Knight complexes- what’s not to love? As an alternative to your ultra-glamorous retail job or that useless PhD you’re working towards (come on man, a podiatrist isn’t even a real doctor-give it up already), let COED show you how to become a superhero and immediately start living a more awesome, cell-shaded life.

Dolph Lundgren has portrayed just about every kind of ass-kicking persona Hollywood could create. In honor of the release of Dolph Lundgren Is The Killing Machine, we ran down some of his more memorable quotes from his best movies.

Comic fans rejoice! Mega-Con, the second greatest comic show in America kicked off today! And in honor of our favorite great Southeastern Comic-Con we’ve put together a list of the comic characters who refuse to fight fairly, the Dirty Dozen!

Now that movie studios have seen success in The Dark Knight, 300, Sin City and most recently, Alan Moore’s Watchmen, they will almost certainly be clamoring at the door for even more graphic novels to adapt into feature films. So here are the 5 graphic novelists you should know – before Hollywood destroys their work.