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The Daily Shocker: Halloween, Crack, Hugh Hefner and Axe-Wielding Moms

September 4, 2007 by Josh - New Hampshire  
Filed under News-ish

The Daily Shocker

• Zombies’ Halloween a Box-Office Killer (Hollywood Reporter)

• What Hugh Hefners’ Sex Life Teaches us About Investing (TalkGold)

• Boy, 7, Finds Nearly $9,000 Worth of Crack in Pocket (Fox News)

• Treason! 8 Celebrities You Won’t Believe Aren’t American (Cracked)

• Axe-wielding Mother Invades School Playground (The Local)

• Racism at Penn State (Collegian)

Shocker! Miss Teen South Carolina Flubs Answer About Education

August 27, 2007 by John - USMA  
Filed under News-ish

The Daily Shocker

The great state of South Carolina is represented flawlessly by Ms. South Carolina, a blonde, dumb-as-bricks girl who sputtered out delicious quotes on the subject of U.S. maps during the Miss Teen USA 2007 pageant.

In less than a minute Lauren Caitlin Upton’s brain is able to wax political about the United States’ lack of maps, “The Iraq,” South Africa, “Asian Countries,” education and “everywhere, like and such as.”

I’m 100% positive that she memorized the most-searched political words and phrases on Ask Jeeves when preparing for the pageant.

I’m also 100% positive that I’ll use her answer as my new monologue the next time I audition for a part in a feature film.

Watch the video after the jump.

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