Thanksgiving is literally right around the corner – and you know what that means! Awkward family dinners where everyone asks you prying questions about your college career! Yay!

Sure, you want to answer Grandma with the truth: “I get drunk every night by 9PM, by 2:30AM I’m high off 3 bong rips and by sunrise I usually have sex three times with the overweight alcoholic girl down the hall.” Your poor Grandma would go into cardiac arrest if you said all of that, so you stick with the fail-safe, “College is great! I’m learning a lot!”

The only problem is when the alcohol gets flowing things can slip. Bringing up your promiscuous sexual history might be a shocker at first, but don’t forget that it’s your family after all – time will heal the wounds. But be warned: if you say anything from the list below and you might need to start looking for a new last name. (more…)

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