Call me a sick son-of-a-b*tch, but there are few things I love more than a good unfortunate/unexpected sh*t story. And by unfortunate/unexpected, I mean the kind of situation that is made extremely complicated and uncomfortable due to an unexpected bowel movement. The following is a totally true account of perhaps the greatest sh*t story ever. (The names and places have been changed to protect the innocent and the guilty. If you are easily offended, now is a good time to stop reading) Read more

Moana Suicide
Age 18

Into:
Smoking pot with friends,
Raves & parties!!

Not Into:
Doing chores, homework,

Makes her happy:
Chronic, funny people,
Hugs & kisses!!!

Makes her sad:
Animal abuse, people
trafficking.

Fave Bands:
Pantera
Moenia
Oakenfold
Amy Winehouse
Reik
The Mars Volta
Tori Amos
Bjork
Infected Mushroom
Paul Van Dyk

Fave Films:
Cheech & Chong
Euro Trip
Alice In Wonderland
Face/Off
Trainspotting
Unfaithful
The Shining
Hostel II
The Exorcist

Check out Moana’s complete Suicide Girl Profile

Lyric Suicide
Age 20
Location Ontario Canada

Into:
Indie comics, horror movies,
Johen Vasquez, drinks with
umbrellas, Final Fantasy games,
bras and panties, sleeping,
kisses in the rain, Ted Nafiah,
my ugly blanket, watching
boxsets all day shocking people.

Not Into:
KFC, being told no, busy days,
plan people, two faced people,
closed minded people, people
who treat their children badly.

Fave Bands:
Our Lady Peace
The Academy Is
Panic! At The Disco
Maroon 5
Tea Party
Fall Out Boy

Fave Films:
Nightmare Before Christmas
Scream
The Notebook
Sweeney Todd
Harry Potter movies

Check out Lyric’s complete Suicide Girl Profile

Shiro Suicide
Age 23
Location: United Kingdom

Into:
Lots of things

Not Into:
War, people that lie,
false economy and
attention seekers

Makes her happy:
My boyfriend, chocolate,
having a drink or two.

Makes her sad:
lol Also my boyfriend,
poverty and terrorism.

Fave Bands:
AFI
American Nightmare
Shai Hulud
Aphex Twin
Blacklisted
Gwen Stefani
Squarepusher
The Dillinger Escape Plan
The Haunted
Horrorpops

Fave Films:
Leon
Edward Scissorhands
Nightmare Before Christmas
Corpse Bride
My Neighbour Torto
Howl’s Moving Castle
The Life of Brian
The Little Shop Of Horrors

Check out Shiro’s complete Suicide Girl Profile

Annisa Suicide
Location: Detroit

Into:
A steady morphine drip,
my burlesque troupe…
The Fat Bottom Girls,
photography, good old
fashion drunken debauchery

Not Into:
Drama

Makes her happy:
My kitty… You kitty.

Makes her sad:
Being bored, being broke
and p.m.s

Fave Bands:
The Slits
Queen
Kaada
Bjork
Fantomas
Mars Volta
Sublime
Otis Redding
Tenacious D

Fave Films:
Dark Crystal
Spirited Away
Harry Potter
Nacho Libre
Pan’s Labyrinth
Forbidden Zone
Gummo
David Lynch
War Of The Worlds

Check out Annisa’s complete Suicide Girl Profile

Abbiss Suicide
Age 21
Location Belgium

Into:
Myself, superficiality,
egocentrism, narcissism

Not into:
YOU

Makes me happy:
Having orgasms

Makes me sad:
Not having orgasms

Hobbies:
Sex, modelling, traveling,
studying languages, …

5 things i can’t live without:
Air, food, water, sun, sex,
love, my wardrobe, my phone,
discoveries, and so on…
You said 5??

Vices:
Venality, superficiality,
egocentrism, narcissism

Check out Abbiss’ complete Suicide Girl Profile

Roza Suicide
Age 22
Location Michigan

Into:
Rock N’ Roll, making out
in alleys, air guitar, spying,
wearing sunglasses at night,
Billy Idol, changing the world

Not Into:
Rap, sports, math, boring
people, lazy people

Makes her happy:
friends, family, fat round furry
animals, booze, the sun, and
getting what I want.

Makes her sad:
Liars, jerks, being taken for
granted, people who are
a**holes.

Fave Bands:
Guns N’ Roses, Billy Idol,
Poison, Motley Crue
Bob Seger, T Rex
Jim Carroll Band
Waylon Jennings

Fave Films:
The Lost Boys, Pretty in Pink
Crocodile Dundee, Poltergeist
Chucky movies, Labyrinth
Weird Science, Harry Potter
Neverending Story
Lord of the Rings

Check out Roza’s complete Suicide Girl Profile

Antanaclasis Suicide
Age 19
Location Massachusetts

Into:
Ex boyfriend, tight pants, long
hair, mohawks, pink hair, anchor
tattoos,neck piercings, breathing,
suspensions, sincerity, curiosity

Not Into:
Whinning, lies and deceit,
F**king up tremendously.

Makes her happy:
Learning, smart people, bottles
of rum, and a handful of peels,
ovaries for sale on ebay,
24 hour pajama parties.

Makes her sad:
Being really sick and unable to
breath thru my nose, having to
listen to bad music, sleeping
for 5 hours during the day.

Fave Bands:
As I Lay Dying, Walls of Jericho
Otep, Farewell Radiance, Misfits
Bleeding Through, Dead To Fall
Suicidal Tendencies, Danzig

Fave Films:
Waking Life, Amelie
The Salton Sea, Memento

Check out Antanaclasis’ complete Suicide Girl Profile

Opaque Suicide
Location: Ohio

Into:
Things you’re not

Not Into:
Unconscious consumption

Makes her happy:
Sunsets, animals (alive),
the potential to make a
difference, open mindedness

Makes her sad:
The murder of animals, apathy,
the government, destruction of
the natural world, ignorance,
selfishness and exploitation.

Fave Bands:
Tool

Fave Films:
The Holy Mountain

Hobbies:
Reading, yoga,
hiding from the world

5 things i can’t live without:
Food, water, shelter.. damn it,
that’s only three.

Check out Opaque’s complete Suicide Girl Profile

Kali Suicide
Age 23
Location Quebec, Canada

Into:
Playing pool, dripping sarcasm,
b movies, photography, seedy bars,
big funky sunglasses, attempting to
make intelligent conversation while
completely wasted, zombies,
political discussions, the 80s, good

Makes her happy:
Hot coffee and a smoke, butterflies
in my stomach, my cat, travelling,
Irish accents, amusing people..

Makes her sad:
Manipulators and liars, cruelty to
animals, feeling uninspired.

Fave Bands:
At The Drive In, Necro, Bowie
Death From Above 1979
Yeah Yeah Yeahs, Blondie
The Streets, Pixies,Tom Vek, M.I.A

Fave Films:
Princess Bride, Fight Club
Morvern Callar,Napoleon Dynamite
Breakfast On Pluto, The Cable Guy
The Crying Game, The Wrong Guy
Ferris Buellers Day Off
No Country for Old Men

Check out Kali’s complete Suicide Girl Profile

Soya Suicide
Age 18
Location California

Cool:
Substance abuse, strangers,
the 60’s, Japanese fashion,
Bollywood,, all that is colorful,
adventures, baking, sex, faux
eyelashes, & bright hooker
lipstick.

Not Cool:
Making pointless profiles so
creepy old people can pretend
to have the same interests as I.

Makes her happy:
DMX & The Beatles.

Makes her sad:
When someone can’t pick me
up, boo! I like being carried.

Fave Band:
Muse , The Beatles
Sigur Ros, Scott Matthew
Imogen Heap, Orgy
Eisley, Bitter: Sweet
Gogol Bordello, The Faint

Fave Films:
Shortbus, Amelie
There Will Be Blood
The Devil Wears Prada
The Outsiders, Mirror Mask
Some Like It Hot
Fried Green Tomatoes

Check out Soya’s complete Suicide Girl Profile

Emet Suicide
Age 19
Location North Carolina

Cool:
Traveling, piercings, tattoos,
body mods in general, reading,
psychology, clothing, makeup.

Not Cool:
Whores and puking

Makes her happy:
The beach, Miami Beach,
Needing something and then
getting it. When things happen
like they do in the movies.

Makes her sad:
Animal abuse

Fave Bands:
Brand New, Everclear
From First To Last
The Grateful Dead
The Doors, Blink 182
Senses Fail, Bright Eyes
Deftones, Alkaline Trio

Fave Films:
Fear & Loathing In Las Vegas
Requiem For A Dream
The Butterfly Effect
Patch Adams, The Good GIrl
The Saw series, Girl Interrupted
SLC Punk, The Wall, Blow

Check out Emet’s complete Suicide Girl Profile