Who needs SNL when rabid anal pummeling is readily available on Comedy Central? The geniuses behind South Park brilliantly spoofed Steven Spielberg and George Lucas raping Indiana Jones on Wednesday night and (surprise, surprise!) the execs at Paramount aren’t happy.

The episode, Olympic Nightmare, shamelessly draws from those please-god-make-it-stop scenes in The Accused and Deliverance. Anytime one of the SP boys screams “rape!” you know the show is about to go from funny to masterful. Read more

If George Lucas and Steven Spielberg can update and tweak their past masterworks (to varying degrees), it’s fair to give outspoken director Ridley Scott a shot.

Revisiting his masterpiece, Blade Runner, for the third time in 25 years Scott is planning to achieve what Lucas and Spielberg couldn’t quite do: to rip the flick apart and ditch any fluff for his original vision. Jar-Jar Binks and friends this is not.

Dropping the brick-over-head voice over of android annihilator Rick Deckard (Harrison Ford) and completely changing the pseudo-sappy ending Blade Runner will take on its new (and hopefully final) life in New York and Los Angeles theaters this week with a special-edition DVD release to follow.

Check out the trailer after the jump. Read more

After years of anticipation (not really), the creative team over at Universal Pictures have leaked crucial information involving the plot of the new Jurassic Park film due in 2008 - and it’s a doozy.

The folks over at Bloody-Disgusting have reported that Jurassic Park IV’s storyline “…is about the government who has trained dinosaurs to carry weapons and use them for battle purposes.”

FINALLY! The holy and all-too-uncommon union of Velociraptors and various weaponry - machetes, M-16s, crossbows, rayguns, flamethrowers, penis-pumping condoms, other dinosaurs, pogs, rotting vegetables - battling for the government has been properly filled.
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