Guys are always looking for a way to get the upper hand in the “mating game.” A good starting point would be to follow Budweiser’s advice and know when to say when or if you’re a Kenny Rogers fan heed the gambler’s advice and know when to hold ‘em, know when to fold ‘em, know when to walk away when the damage is done. In much simpler terms, if you’re into a girl you HAVE to know when she’s rejecting or “negging” you before you get physically denied at the gates. No matter how you use the term – “neg” “negged” “steak ‘n’ neggs” “negg nog” “negatron” “she’s got neggs and she knows how to use them” “Bill and Ted’s neg-cellent adventure” – when it happens, it stings. Below is a list of classic and “new school” negs every guy should be aware of if they want to turn that frown into a visit to Pound Town: (more…)

Most people will tell you that female comedians aren’t funny – any of them. Even comic greats, like John Belushi and Chevy Chase said women aren’t funny. Christopher Hitchens wrote an article about it for Vanity Fair. But we don’t think women aren’t funny. We think these women aren’t funny. In fact, they’re so unfunny, they almost make Dane Cook seem like a comic genius.  (more…)

Today marks the 15th anniversary of the death of comedian Bill Hicks. Known for his vicious, insightful no-holds-barred style, Hicks has posthumously become one of the most popular comedians of all-time. And in these strange, f**ked up days, we miss the funny son-of-a-bitch even more. So to honor the this fallen hero of comedy, we’ve put together our picks for the 10 Best Bill Hicks Stand-Up Moments. We also found a place where you can get t-shirts of Bill Hicks and any of your favorite comedians. Cheers! [Warning: NSFW Language - so put on some headphones.] (more…)

Too often in the entertainment industry, great talents are taken from this world before they have a chance for their careers to fully flourish. Unfortunately for others, the exact opposite happens – their careers got so big, they didn’t know when to quit. Not that they weren’t great in their day, but somewhere along the way, things took a turn for the worst. So instead of letting them continue to pollute the airwaves with over-confident garbage, we thought we’d give these 10 comedians a heads-up with The 10 Comedians Who Should’ve Bought the Farm Before Their Careers Did. (more…)

We’re not sure how they’ve done it, but by some dastardly karmic injustice these 10 a-holes have made successful careers for themselves as comedians by… being about as funny as putting your dog to sleep. For whatever idiotic reason, everyone went along with the shams long enough to make these people into celebrities. We’re not saying we could do their jobs better, we’re just saying it wouldn’t have been hard to find someone who could. So without further adieu – The Top 10 Most Unfunny Comedians of All Time.

Disclaimer: It’s no surprise that Dane Cook made this list – being that he’s such an amazing, incredible douchebag. However – in the spirit of full disclosure – we must admit that Dane Cook was on the cover of the print edition of COED Magazine in 2006. But that’s all in the past – from the days when COED was run by delusional idiots who wished they were Dane’s buffer boys. We’re not them. (more…)

If there’s one reason to watch 30 Rock, it’s Tracy Motherf**kin’ Morgan. The dude was on Saturday Night Live for seven years, and he’s still killing it as one of the funniest men in America. His slightly slurred speech, almost nonsensical sense of humor and don’t-give-a-sh*t attitude isn’t for the feint of heart. Luckily, our hearts are made of lead and whisky.

Check out the Top 8 Tracy Morgan Moments after the break! (more…)

With times getting tougher and tougher by the day, it’s important to remember to laugh every once in a while. So while the first black president prepares to take office and get this show back on the road, we thought we’d take a look at COED’s 7 Funniest Black Men of All Time for some comic inspiration.

Check out The 7 Funniest Black Men of All Time after the break!

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Robin Williams

Back in the ’70s and ’80s, when Robin Williams did a lot of stand-up (and coke), he was one of the best in the business. His fast-talking, freak-the-hell-out kind of comedy was one of the most scorching acts on the scene. But since cranking out a long line of family-friendly crapfests like Mrs. Doubtfire and Patch Adams, Williams has become more like a giant flaming grizzly bear on meth than a comedian. So please, Robin, for the love of all that’s good in this world, stop screaming at us. We’re not laughing.

Robin Williams in his prime

Robin Williams past his time

Martin Lawrence

After being hand-picked for Russell Simmons’ Def Comedy Jam, Martin Lawrence quickly became one of the top comedians of the 90’s. His series, Martin had a good run from ‘92 to ‘97, featuring gut-busting characters, like Mama Payne and Sheneneh Jenkins. And his string of box office blockbusters are certainly impressive. But from 2000 on, Lawrence began spewing serious piles of crap like Black Knight and National Security. And no, Big Momma’s House doesn’t count – anyone can thrown on a fat suit and squeeze out a couple of laughs.

Martin Lawrence in his prime

Martin Lawrence past his time

Mike Myers

Mike Myers is arguably one of the funniest men of all-time. Most everything he did while on SNL is some form of comic genius, and Wayne’s World will forever have a special place in our hearts (right next to beer and side-boobs). And his Austin Powers franchise was surprisingly funny from start to finish. In fact, we don’t have many complaints. That is, until the vile, soul-sucking waste of time that is The Love Guru came to be. Seriously, this one is unforgivable. Sorry, Mike, you f**ked up.

Mike Myers in his prime

Mike Myers past his time

Andrew Dice Clay

One of the most offensively hilarious comedians of all-time, Andrew Dice Clay’s searing comedic genius was as good as it got for a couple of years. But instead of changing up his jokes as times changed, Dice just kept telling the same old schtick while getting fatter and balder by the minute. Then came his reality show Dice: Undisputed, which was supposed to be his relaunching pad, but instead revealed him to be the washed-up asshole he is.

Andrew Dice Clay in his prime

Andrew Dice Clay past his time

George Carlin

Ok, ok, settle down. We know pretty much everyone ever has a hard-on for the late George Carlin. But that doesn’t change the fact that after “Seven Dirty Words,” all Carlin did was a bunch of bit rolls and a lot of righteous complaining. We know, he did 14 stand-up specials and is considered one of the greatest comedians of all-time, but that’s mostly because anytime someone mentions that he might be anything less than Einstein and Richard Pryor rolled into one, his fans start screaming like little girls. In fact, we can already hear them now…

George Carlin in his prime

George Carlin past his time

Check out these COED posts

Why do you always embarrass yourself at parties by telling lame jokes? As we learned from Full House they aren’t laughing with Joey (YOU), they are laughing at Joey (YOU).

If you want a quick lesson on how not to be a total flop on the comedy scale take a look at this amazing collection of the all-time greatest stand up clips.

Even if you don’t plan on busting out any of these jokes while standing around the keg at least you’ll get a chance to see old-school Jim Carrey killing it at the Comedy Shop.