Today’s WTF news items feature a car your girlfriend will want to put in her mouth, sailing the seven seas while high as a kite, and aliens slowly building their army across the galaxy to take us over. Read more after the jump!

The car you drive says a lot about who you are as a man. It defines your personality to the world around you, as you whiz past at 80-MPH. It is your home away from home, your out-0f-the-office office. And, if you’re lucky, it plays a major factor in helping get you laid. But if you drive one of these tool boxes, don’t be surprised if everyone else on the road wants to punch you in the face.

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