It’s finally over, folks. After almost 20 years in the NBA, Shaquille O’Neal announced his retirement via his Twitter account (@Shaq). The Big Aristotle has been a huge tweeter since becoming a member, giving his followers free tickets, jerseys, and other prizes. So, we decided to box out and grab his best tweets. We found words of wisdom, insights into his mind, and yo momma jokes sharper than a Shaqtus. Check ‘em out after the jump and don’t forget to follow him on Twitter because he’s not stopping any time soon.

Shaquille O’Neal is a legend and will forever be a part of not just NBA history but sports lore. He donned the Superman ‘S’ way before Dwight Howard and he spits out memorable quote after memorable quote in the locker room, at press conferences, and on Twitter. The big man’s in the twilight of his career, but still manages to be productive for the Celtics when he doesn’t forget his meds. He’s gone head to head with the likes of Ewing, Olajuwon, Robinson, but can you imagine playing against him in HIGH SCHOOL?! How bad do you think that dude sh*t his pants? Here are some of his highlights from high school.

Unstoppable came out this past weekend and earned around $23 million at the box office, placing it second behind Megamind. The plot centers on a rail company frantically working to prevent an unmanned, half-mile-long freight train carrying combustible liquids and poisonous gas from wiping out a city. Sounds ridiculous, right? Well, don’t judge a movie by its trailer; it’s been receiving favorable reviews. However, after seeing the trailer we felt compelled to touch upon some especially terrible movie plots.

Who knows how many technical fouls Rasheed Wallace would have to his name had this happened while he was still playing? For those of you who didn’t hear the news, the NBA has revamped the definitions of behavior that will result in technical fouls next season. These rules were implemented to limit the following:

We made a vow here at COED to stay far away from the ridiculousness that is Shaq’s Big Challenge. But when the backsides of Misty May-Treanor and Kerri Walsh were pushing up against the inside of my flatscreen while flipping across ABC, all I could do was watch. Great television? No. Great opportunity to pay tribute to the butts of The Greatest Sport on Earth? Absolutely.

For a man who is obsessed with having the last word, there is no possible worst-case scenario for Shaquille O’Neal than watching either Kobe Bryant or Stan Van Gundy hoist up the Larry O’Brien Trophy as the champion of the 2008-09 season.
For years, Shaq has claimed that the only reason Kobe won three titles was because he had The Diesel stationed… Click to read more

If the only people you’re following on Twitter are people you know, then you’re probably doing it wrong. Sure, it’s good to keep tabs on what your friends are up to, but is it really all that interesting? It’s high time you started following some people who actually are actually doing something interesting – like profession… Click to read more