Hollywood’s hottest are dropping faster than one-legged man in a backflip contest. As FHM says, “the world’s hottest women are getting married, having babies or committing similarly selfish acts at an alarming rate.”

Christina Aguliera and Jessica Alba popped out kids, Lindsay Lohan is a rug muncher, and Scarlett Johansson got married – all we can do now is look up in the sky and pray to God that 35 year-old David SIlver doesn’t knock up Megan Fox.

Let’s sit back and re-live the glory days of these hotties by heading to FHM and soaking in pictures from an time before they went off the deep-end.

It is actually amazing that one person can make the conscious decision NOT to learn from her previous mistakes. But to make a sex tape with a greasy “paparazzo” who looks like the slimiest dude on the Earth, gives me hope that I can eventually get my girlfriend to crack.

What makes it even better is that the video is 2 hours long, and Britney is wearing a pink wig. That is just classic! Don’t whip out the Jergens just yet, there are weeks of injunctions and lawsuits before we get to see anything.

I have my fingers crossed that Scarlett Johansson makes some bad decisions over the next couple of weeks to celebrate her new marriage!

Who would you rather see a sextape of ?

Welp, it looks like Scarlett Johansson, one of the world’s most ridiculously hot women that none of us ever had any chance of meeting, let alone developing a life-long bond of love and devotion, has gotten F’ing married. But don’t worry,  we will still have her acting career, which seems to hint towards a nude photoshoot any day now…You know, after the honeymoon.

Anyway, it’s not going to do any good to pout. In the mean time, let’s boost our spirits with a couple of sizzling Scarlett photos and turn that frown upside down…or some version of that.

Check out a couple good pictures after the jump! (more…)

Rihan Sudgen and Rosie Sell Their Panties

Mug Shot Montage

Two Chicks Jump Into Highway Traffic

Claudia Schiffer Looks Good at Oktoberfest

Natasha Quoma Seems Nice…

Bruno Crashes a Fashion Show

Sarah Palin Gets  an “awesome facial”

Scarlett Johansson Gets Married

The Real Age of Dogs

“My (Jr. High) Son knocked the sh*t out of that running back.”

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George Clooney Is the Lone Ranger