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Amy Winehouse turned her Grammy into a makeshift crack pipe on Monday afternoon and was caught smoking out the prestigious music award.*

The artist’s depiction shows what it may have looked like if this incident was caught on camera.

I think things have gone far enough, Ms. Winehouse.

We get it, you are on crack… congratulations. We all know the Grammys are a joke, but to do this is a little much. I have seen some pretty resilient druggies in my day doing whatever it takes to get that high. Sharing needles, selling off their children for a hit – but smoking crack out of a Grammy Award? Come on! Get some standards, woman.

I can’t wait to see an Oscar winner take the trophy, find a plump vein and enjoy the sweet, tender caress of Lady H. (If Tilda Swinton wins, this may actually happen.)

*This satire is brought to you by COED. Don’t sue us or take us too seriously.

What a perfect post to make at 4:20.

VH1, purveyors of poor taste, will add yet another reality show to their already-overstuffed repertoire in January, titled Celebrity Rehab. The show will feature drugged-up celebs fighting with addiction while playing up their troubles for the camera.

I know, I know – it all sounds a bit redundant, doesn’t it?

Entertainment is indeed in the eye of the beholder, but don’t front, snooty critics: watching former Grease star Jeff Conaway snort the drug of denial and that rapping dude from Crazy Town smoke crack – yes, crack – is pretty damn entertaining.

The cast of Celebrity Rehab will also reportedly star fallen angels Mary Carey, Chyna, Jessica Sierra, Daniel Baldwin and Brigitte Nielsen. What an ensemble!

I’m crossing my fingers for Pete Doherty to make a cameo.

Nothing says modesty better than rich, celebrity has-beens snorting and puffing themselves into oblivion, taping it for the world to see just to receive help and feel a sense of accomplishment.

Could it be?! Lindsay Lohan is a rehab success story? She’s come a long way since this or this and this and don’t forget about this or this and this.

Here are some recent pics so judge for yourself. (more…)

Amy Winehouse has spun completely out of control.

Bruised and battered from a scuffle with her “husband” Blake Fielder-Civil, 23-year-old Winehouse looked very much the mess on London streets early Thursday morning. This is certainly one of those cases where even the paparazzi reveals a heart – if only after taking pictures of the bloodied-up couple.

With enough celeb sob-stories to muss over every minute of every day Winehouse’s fall from grace is the most distressing, as her rise to worldwide fame has given way to worldwide infamy in record time.

I sincerely hope that she finds some help from some of her real-life friends – not money-grubbing, tail-following scenesters.

She said no to rehab. And apparently also to food.I’m not Amy Winehouse’s biggest fan. Not because I don’t think she’s talented—I do—I just don’t get her. I don’t get anyone who’s famous and then misses gigs and seems genuinely uninterested in the fans who gave them that fame. She’s a little too weird for me. But I figured the baby-who-hasn’t-eaten-for-weeks look and her huge hair was a thing she had cultivated for a while, a trademark. Part of her essence.I figured wrong.

It seems like Ms. Winehouse was completely normal looking a few years ago. Buxom, smiling, basically tattoo free, and clean. She looked cute and friendly. Well fed. In no need of rehab.

Then something happened. Not being a Winehouse scholar, I have no idea what that something was. Massive amounts of drugs? A sudden urge to wear children’s shorts? A dislike of washing her hair? A midnight realization that her life would be so much better if she only looked like Nicole Richie? I don’t know. But something happened. Something drastic. It might rhyme with choke (and actually sort of be made up of the same lettering, minus an “hâ€?), but I wouldn’t want to point fingers.