It’s almost time to go back to school and for freshmen that means taking your first college courses.

Just like roommates, professors break down into 7 distinct types.

To check out the Old Tenure, The Hottie, The “I Went To Woodstock” and four other types of professors you’ll have in college, click here!.

The Bible, man, that’s hard stuff to get through.

We decided to go straight to the Man himself to get our moral guidance… but, sadly, Mr. Christ did not return our calls. So, instead, we found three college students named Jesus (Jesus Corral – University of Denver, Jesus Bruce – Stanford Univeristy and Jesus Campos-Hernandez – George Washington University) and asked them about sin. Sloth, indeed.

• Question #1: A starting lineman on the football team beat the crap out of me at a party. How do I get revenge without getting killed? – Chapin, 20

Jesus Corral: “All you need is a bat with a nail through it, dipped in HIV-infected blood. You can figure it out.”

Jesus Bruce: “Next time you see him at a party, put drops of Visine in his beer. The only thing coming out of him for a few days will be slush.”

Jesus Campos-Hernandez: “While at a bar, I got my buddy Dave so bombed that he ended up doing a #2 while he passed out on his couch. He woke up, not realizing he’d soiled himself and walked around campus. So, there are cheaper ways to achieve the result.”

• Question #2: I’m pretty positive that one of my sorority sisters is stealing from me. How can I prove it? – Lindsay, 21 (more…)

Sound On gives us a pretty dead-on list on How To Be Ridiculously Successful In College (And Have A Good Time Doing It) In Ten Tips. I’ll include the list below but be sure to visit the site to check out the important details for each point on the list. It really will help you incoming freshman out a ton.

1. Get To Class
   So much of your success will simply be based on class attendance.
2. Take Notes
   During class, take notes by hand, even if you are the only one doing it.
3. Stay Organized
   Come to class with a well organized empty notebook, ready to fill up.
4. Get Your Sleep
   In order to learn, your body needs to sleep.
5. Get Some Exercise
   If you want to learn, you need to keep a fresh supply of oxygen available to your brain.
6. Complete Large Projects ASAP
   If you have a very large project assigned, e.g. a research paper, get it done ASAP. (more…)