Today’s WTF news items of the day feature Pepe Le Pew’s cousin causing a real stink, a horny nurse in Oklahoma who gets turned on by death, and a corrections officer in Florida who might’ve just discovered Subway’s next big sandwich. Read more after the jump!

Today’s WTF news features a bottomless drive thru order in Colorado, some colorful jailbirds in Russia, and the source behind Green Bay’s funding of the Packers is exposed! Read more about these absurd news items after the jump!

If there were anyone with a more tense relationship with his coach and the fan base as Vince Young I would be surprised. Sure, Donovan McNabb’s tumultuous tenure in Philly was bad, but he and Andy Reid were close. Vince, on the other hand, just can’t seem to handle the pressures involved with playing at the NFL level. While McNabb’s at least lead a couple teams to championship games and a Super Bowl, Vince only has 1 Pro Bowl year under his belt and has zero playoff experience. See who we think Vince will play for next season after the jump!

No sport seems to have as many athletes in trouble with the law as the National Football League does, so here is an “All-Star” team of sorts, compiled of 11 former and current NFL players that either have been, or are currently incarcerated.

Marijuana, herb, cheeba, ganja, pot, endo, weed… the list of slang words describing the most controversial plant in history is endless. So what is, exactly, the big deal? Good question, but no clear cut answer.

Now that the President has shown everyone in the world what $8 Billion worth of military and interrogation research can yield, it is time we ponder where the money was best spent. Yeah, yeah, yeah – waterboarding seems to get top billing, but if 9/11 mastermind can withstand over 200 sessions, we think the alternates should really get a chance.

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• hottest celebrity jailbirds

• how to ace a job interview

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• Band geek + homemade bong = ?

Everyone with a webcam or a knack for having sex with married celebrities can get their fifteen minutes of fame. But only the truly talented can extend those 15 minutes into an interview on 20/20, a Playboy contract, and a television series. We’ve put together a handy guide on turning your 15 minutes of fame into a a lifelong career of book signings, national news mugshot cameos, and late-career sex tape success.

You’re out at a bar or a club with your boys, everybody’s three sheets to the wind, you do something stupid and get arrested. Take it like a man. You’ll be out by the morning and you probably won’t get raped. While you’re there, here’s a couple of characters to look out for and avoid.

As if violent video games don’t already have a bad enough rap, some dumbass goes and does this:  After having his copy Halo 3 taken away from him, 16-year-old boy-genius Daniel Petric shot both his parents – killing his mother – and ran away with the game. Not only that, but Daniel tried to frame the crime on this father by trying to put the gun… Click to read more

Facing 14 charges of child pornography and 15 years in prison, R Kelly broke down and cried today at the announcement that the jury found him not guilty, on all counts.
The charges were originally brought against him after video surfaced of someone looking suspiciously like the Grammy award-winning singer and producer taking a wiz on a 15-year-old girl. The… Click to read more

Yes, they are doing time – but they are doing the time of their life!… Click to read more

Nude burglar breaks in Nic Cage’s house, dons his national treasure. (Yahoo)
The smoke from a restaurant’s Chili sauce causes panic in the streets. (Times Online)
John Walters from the Office of National Drug Control Policy claims “success” in the War on Drugs. Not according to my bong… (BBC News)
Man attempting to kill a w… Click to read more