Just because you’re a lot bigger (and probably fatter) than you were as a kid, that doesn’t mean you shouldn’t still be able to play with toys. And with the way technology’s going these days, you’re not going to believe the stuff kids these day have. From real night vision goggles to giant RC dinosaurs, these are five of the hot items this holiday season that you will probably just want to keep for yourself.

1. EyeClops Night Vision Goggles

Think night vision is just for spies, special ops and dress wearing serial killers? Think again. Now, with the EyeClops night vision goggles ($80), even your punkass nephew can turn into a Navy SEAL. Just pop in four AA batteries, flip the ‘on’ switch and the EyeClops night vision goggles allow you to see clearly in pitch black up to 50-feet in front of you using the same infrared technology used in professional-grade night vision goggles. We’re not saying these goggles won’t make you look like a cyborg creeper, but that doesn’t mean they don’t kick all ass.

2. Hasbro Nerf N-Strike Vulcan EBF-25 Blaster

Any toy that resembles heavy artillery is good in our book. And this battery powered dart cannon is so badass, it could probably scare Osama bin Laden enough to surrender, if you got him in range. Armed with an aiming tripod and a 25 dart ammuition belt, the Nerf N-Strike Vulcan EBF-25 Blaster ($45) can switch between single shot and fully-automatic mode, allowing you shoot your enemies (i.e. your girlfriend’s cat) with up to three darts per-second. Beat that, Mr. Snuggles!

3. Air Hogs Havoc Battle Laser Helicopters

Remote control helicopters have come a long way in the past few years, turning an expensive niche hobby into some of the most fun you can have indoors. Made of not much more than Styrofoam and plastic, the Air Hogs Havoc Laser helicopters battle pack ($63), which comes with two helicopters and remote controls, are not only 100-times more durable than the more expensive RC copters at your local hobby shop, they come armed with freakin’ lasers, giving you the ability to take down your friends in an all-out aerial war. Not only that, but you don’t have to become a complete RC dweeb just to get the dang things off the ground.

4. The Hammacher Snowball Launcher

Winter’s just around the corner (or already here), and that means it’s time to amp-up your snowball fighting skills. But this year, you’re going to need more than just warmer gloves. Enter the Hammacher Snowball Launcher ($30), the coolest backyard weapon this side of a potato gun.

Just pack snow into the loading chamber, close the top and presto – three perfectly formed snowballs ready to fire. Next, place a snowball into the barrel, pull back the elastic launcher and let the puppy fly (up to 80-feet). The neighbor kids are going to have another thing coming this snow season.

5. Spike the Ultra Dinosaur

While this one might look a little too childish and goofy to be fun past age four, this bitchin’ remote control dinosaur is like having a pet that will never take a dump on your floor or eat your couch. Measuring 27-inches tall, Spike the Ultra Dinosaur ($140) can stand on his hind legs and make a ton of aweseom noises like snorts and roars. And the remote control is picture coded to tell you exactly what Spike does, so you can have tons of fun with this mischevious monster even when you’re wasted! (Note: This product is best used while really, really high.)

With the iPhone 3.0 update due out Wednesday, iPhone 3GS out Friday and Father’s Day on Sunday, iPhone-related gifts are sure to be the hot seller. But since you probably can’t afford (or are just to cheap) to spend hundreds of dollars on your dad’s present this year, we’ve put together a list of the 14 iPhone apps to give your dad for Father’s Day that he will definitely use (and maybe even thank you for.) (more…)

If you’re like me, Christmas sneaks up on you like a ninja. Most of the time, you’re able to escape its stealthy wrath by running around town on Christmas Eve, furiously buying gift cards and aromatherapy bath gels. But some years, there’s just not enough time (or personal responsibility) to finish (or start) your gift-buying. And when Christmas day comes along, you’re stuck looking like the family asshole. So to get out of the dog house this year, here are nine fool-proof excuses for not having any gifts from you under the tree.

1. Blame It on the Stock Market: Sure, it might not technically make sense. But since most people don’t really understand the stock market in the first place, just spew some nonsense about derivatives and bear markets and that “son-of-a-bitch Paulson,” and you should be good.

2. Feign Terminal Illness: This might ruin Christmas in it’s own way, but at least you won’t look like the lazy, forgetful asshole. And you’ll probably get some sweeter presents next year…

3. Busy Fighting the War on Christmas: Who cares if the “War on Christmas” isn’t a real war? You have Jesus on your side – and nobody can argue with Jesus…

4. Dog Ate Them: Works every time.

5. Became a Communist: If you don’t believe in personal possession or religion, how can you be expected to participate in a holiday based entirely on both?

6. Mumble Something About Complications in the Space-Time Continuum: This one might require going on a jargon-filled tirade about portals and “that rat bastard Father Time,” but you’ll either confuse everyone enough to not question your asshole-ishness any further, or they’ll just think you’ve completely lost your mind. Either way, you win!

7. Gave Everyone’s Presents Away to an Orphanage: Instead of looking like a complete d*ckwad, you look like a saint. Problem is, lying about such things will probably seal your seat in hell. But that’s not till later, so screw it.

8. It’s George Bush’s Fault: Everything’s already George Bush’s fault, so adding one more item to the list isn’t a stretch for anyone’s imagination.

9. You’re Broke: It works because it’s probably true. Just make sure to not show everyone your iPhone, or it’s all over.

(Image: about.com)

Today’s Cyber Monday, and that means great online deals all day. And unless you want to get trampled, I’d say it’s best to stay home this year and get all your shopping done online and out of the way of the angry mob. So I’ve compiled a ton of online options to get the job done for (pretty much) everyone in your gift-giving circle. A lot of them are interchangeable, depending on the people in your life, so don’t get stuck on the categories. But I will say, if you choose one site for every person on your list, you’ll have that whole “Christmas spirit” thing out of the way and you can just go watch some football.

Check out The Complete Guide to Christmas Shopping Online: (more…)

Just because you’re a lot bigger (and probably fatter) than you were as a kid, that doesn’t mean you shouldn’t still be able to play with toys. And with the way technology’s going these days, you’re not going to believe the stuff kids these day have. From real night vision goggles to giant RC dinosaurs, these are five of the hot items this holiday season that you will probably just want to keep for yourself. (more…)

Continuing our gift guide from Monday we present a list of presents ranging from tech to blech.

Check out the gift guide after the jump. (more…)

This goes out to Askmen.com, The New York Times, Stuff and others:

Stop putting out gift guides that no one other than Bill Gates nephew, Prince Harry or Mark Zuckerberg can afford. Not now and probably not ever will I be able to afford a $2,500 cashmere sweater by some Italian designer whose name I can’t even pronounce. Furthermore, quit it with the same generic gifts – give me some variety, people!

Minor kinks notwithstanding – it’s our first guide; be easy on us – COED Magazine presents our first annual holiday gift guide. Today’s deals are for the people shopping with a budget that want to leave an impact on the gift-receivers.

Feel free to leave links and info to products we forgot to list in the comment section. We will try our best to add them to tomorrow’s gift guide.

Check out the gift guide after the jump! (more…)