No opening ceremony for any Olympics before has been so well-directed, massive, awesome…or made us wish we were on drugs so much as the incredible spectacle of Beijing’s opening ceremony last Friday night. The drums, the lights, the giant screen and 15,000 people running, fighting, flying–it was a visual orgasm.

But we’ve done you one better. To help you enjoy the Beijing opening ceremony to its fully-influenced potential, we at COED have made “The Dark Side of the Beijing” mash-up, combining the opening ceremony with Pink Floyd’s infamous “Dark Side of the Moon.” The Wizard of Oz ain’t got nothin’ on this…

Before now, you might have thought groupies were only to be enjoyed by the lucky few sons-of-bitches that become rock stars. But when those groupies become wives and girlfriends (probably because they’re the hottest), sometimes they get pregnant. And sometimes those babies turn into super-hot chicks that get their picture taken. That’s where we come in.

Check out “COED Presents: Sexiest Rock Star Spawn” after the jump! (more…)

Over 80% of New Zealanders around the age of 25 have admitted to driving under the influence of marijuana. The ratio of Taco Bell wrappers and Pink Floyd albums to each vehicle driven under the influence has yet to be determined. (Stuff)

The NFL’s Most “Homely” Cheerleaders. (Daily Redundancy)

Stripper gets workman’s comp for “neck pain.” Don’t ask. (News.com)

Duct work comes undone, leaving most of Roosevelt Middle School’s gym torn up. Note to all you fixer-uppers out there: duct tape can be used for everything except entire gymnasiums. (WhioTV)

Maryville mother believes in the Bible’s teachings, therefore loses her kids in a custody battle. Presiding judge: SATAN. (Daily Times)

Featherbeds, futons, laundry bags, white boards – you don’t need any of them.

They don’t matter; they’re inconsequential in you enjoying time away from your ‘rents house and avoiding embarrassing, CollegeHumor-worthy moments. A spiffy laundry bag from your mom isn’t going to help you through college, let alone getting laid…but these following necessities may.

Your sisters/cousins/friends t-shirt, sweatshirt, etc.

While it’s oh-so-cute to have a girl you bagged the night before decked out in your XL Boston Bruins jersey, know that her outlook may slightly differ than yours. The “Walk of Shame” for her could be either walking home in last night’s outfit or floating around campus in your oversized, off-putting wears – maybe even both. Fix that quick.

It’s not a bad idea to keep a universally-accepted (read: one color, no logo) t-shirt or sweatshirt handy; just say it’s your sisters or cousins or roommates’ sisters’ shirt – whatever makes sense. Of course, only bust out the default “morning after” outfit if she’s worthy. If she’s not worthy (read: she didn’t even give you a HJ) let her walk the plank all by her lonesome. (more…)