News flash! Some bad pick-up lines can actually work to land yourself a new lady friend – and you know you want a new lady friend. So like a lion pacing the Savannah, you go to the target rich environment of your choice looking for love. If you are 5’2, 250 this advice will not help. Sorry old chap. If you are a young George Clooney, you don’t need help. But if you are reasonable looking single guy or simply an unfaithful bastard, here are some time tested lines and some analysis of each.

So you’ve accomplished everything on your bucket list so far with the exception of getting smacked by a porn. Well, get ready to cross that off because we have some all-star tips for you. First: say one of these classy lines to her. Second: learn how saying less can get you more. Third: make sure you’re talking to one that gave her bod to God. And last but not least: do the it the easy way and just ask one to hit you via Twitter.

Now that you’ve finally lost your virginity and mastered the art of missionary, you’re ready for some more advance lessons on how to please a lady in bed. Well your options range from getting started on Twitter to taking advice from a porn star. And if it turns out your girlfriend/paid escort likes it extra dirty you can throw in one of the 27 best pick-up lines used in New Jersey or even better yet try out these Star Wars convention-themed lines.