In a half-assed attempt to keep children from having contact with violent and child sex offenders this Halloween, Maryland is requiring 1,200 felons in the state to put up a poster of a, get this, orange pumpkin, to be the ‘Scarlet Letter’ warning to parents and children not to trick-or-treat at that house.

Granted, the sign also says “No Candy at This Residence,” but you’d think something slightly more threatening might be in order when the safety of children is on the line. Like, you know, maybe a poster of an adult attacking a kid, or at least a scary goblin or something, if they’re going to insist on the warnings doubling as a holiday decoration. Not to mention all the other, non kid-touching people with all types of orange pumpkin decorations all over their houses. (more…)

HEY! STOP LOOKING AT HER CLEAVAGE! SHE’S ONLY NINE FOR CHRISSAKES!!

Statutory Rape, or Stat-Rape for those in the know, is a distressing subject for any parent with a slutty, angsty, d*cktease of a daughter. Lucky for them, ad agency Serve has come to the rescue and served up some good old young awareness for those pondering the act of pedophilia (I know pedophilia is different, but check the ads and tell me they’re not catering to both): (more…)

South Park, our guiding light, recently revealed that yes, girls don’t have balls.

Why the writer’s strike may screw us all – and how to help.

Amy Winehouse brings her F-game to a less-than-amused crowd on first date of her tour.

Well, whaddya know: teenagers who have sex are less prone to violence. They don’t call it being “sexually frustrated” for nothing. Duh.

Why is a German convict really, really happy to be doing community service for a kindergarten? (Hint: he was convicted three times of pedophilia in the past.)

Yeah! The new dollar coin is out, and it features none other than…who? James Madison?