Congratulations! We are pleased to inform you that you have made it to the tender age of college-hood, which is anywhere from 11 – 85, depending on your life circumstances. In any event, kudos on filling out the application and having at least some spark of potential. As well as signing /drinking your life away to student loans–or, having convinced your ultra-rich parents to sponsor your four-year long high school graduation party. Here’s to you, Mr. Freshman, one way or another.

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