The mainstream media is biased, but not just in terms of Left or Right. See, the only candidates in the presidential race that are getting any coverage are the McCain/Palin and Obama/Biden tickets. But did you know that our country has way more than just Republicans and Democrats?

Sure, we all know about the Green and Libertarian parties, but there are plenty of other crazy bastards who have thrown their names in the hat as viable candidates for the White House. So, to make sure we have the most informed audience out there, COED is proud to present to you, the Presidential Candidates on the Fringe.

Jack Grimes
If you’re tired of thinking for yourself and want someone to make decisions for you then vote for Jack Grimes of the United Facist Union. Clad in his trademark Roman Centurion helmet, Mr. Grimes (or Grimey) wants to establish a totalitarian, corporate state in the tradition of such leaders as Saddam Hussein and Mussolini. How could you not vote for this guy? (more…)

I don’t get it.

Having proven that the State of Florida cannot handle relatively simple tasks, as was the case in the last Presidential Election, Florida’s Broward and Miami-Dade counties have announced that they will buck the state’s recommendations for handling voters flagged by the controversial Florida Voter Verification Law. I am not exactly sure who they think this will benefit, but it is ultimately bad for America.

When the election of the President of the United State becomes a political game and a pawn for either party, we have taken a serious step backwards in the upholding of our most cherished freedom. Whether you choose to “Vote or Die” or whatever dumb-sh*t anthem Hollywood will be chanting next week, the problem is real.

How can one state’s political system decide to jeapardize the voice of the whole country? Not that it will, but given the electoral college’s power, a screw-up in Florida could mean the difference between who controls one of the most influential countries in the world. These are the same people who screwed up the “butterfly ballot” and most of which have no idea how to work their TiVos. My grandmother lives in Florida and calls me every week when House is on so that she can record it and watch it the next day – so she can fast-forward through the commercials.

Oh yeah – these people are going to screw it up again…just watch!

You might have expected to see another SNL -  Tina Fey – Sarah Palin sketch posted here this morning, but for my money Barky Bark and The Donkey Bunch stole last night’s show.  I always wondered what Marky Mark would sound like talking to a goat and Andy Samberg nails it.  “Say hi to your mother for me.”

To find out exactly who’s telling the truth and who’s full of moose sh*t in tomorrow’s vice presidential debate between Gov. Sarah Palin and Sen. Joe Biden, then head over to RealScoop.com.

The site, which official launches tomorrow (it’s in beta now), has developed a technology that makes it possible to tell when they’re on the level and when they’re pulling your leg. Unlike lie detectors, which measure stress levels, Real Scoop’s technology measures emotional states based on variances in voice tones. They then apply this technology to videos of celebrities and politicians and post them on the site for your nit-picking pleasure. (more…)

Looks like Saturday Night Live is going to milk this Tina Fey-Sarah Palin thing for all it’s worth. This time, they re-created Katie Couric’s recent interview with Palin. With real answers like “As Putin rears his head and comes into the air space of the United States of America, where do they go? It’s Alaska,” it doesn’t take much to make the thing funny. They’re probably praying to the god of comedy (Hilarioseus?) – and Tina Fey’s agent – that McCain/Palin win this election. Otherwise, they might be out of good material.

To begin, it doesn’t matter how we got where we are. I really don’t care how often Obama wants to talk about who is to blame, but we are here now, we are screwed and we have to get out. YES, we know, McCain was not voted Miss Congeniality…we heard. And yes, no one really knows how to pronounce Ahmadinejad – we got it.

The sad part is, we sat around COED office drinking and watching the debate – and when it was done, we started talking and it was quite obvious that we were all watching different debates.

(more…)

Friday, September 5th

The 44 Hotties From Entourage

Sunday marks the premier of HBO’s hit series Entourage for its fifth season. And that means a return of the most bootylicious babe line-up on television. Like Beverly Hills: 90210 was for the 90s, Entourage is the go-to gig for newbie Hollywood hotties looking to launch their careers and a chance for everyone from A-listers to porn stars to strut their stuff on Cool Street. So to highlight the show’s true awesomeness, we’ve compiled the ultimate list of all the sexiest ladies to appear on Entourage, ever.

Ben Gordon Missed the Boat

Last summer, Ben Gordon was offered a 5-year, $50M contract extension from the Chicago Bulls but whined that as the team’s leading scorer, that wasn’t enough.

Now its only a few weeks from camp and Gordon’s contract status is still in limbo.  He still thinks he deserves something similar to the $71M deal the Bulls recently gave to Luol Deng, but the Bulls disagree.

Down to Four: US Open Semi-Finals Today

After four rounds and the quarter finals, the US Open is down to four women tennis players vying for the win. Today’s semi-final matches (schedule) include Elena Dementieva (Russia) versus Jelena Jankovic of Serbia, who’s currently ranked No. 2. Dinara Safina of (surprise, surprise) Russia versus American Serena Williams. If Serena beats Safina in this match, she’ll be the new World No. 1.

College Football Week Two: Cheerleader Edition

Finally, football season is in full swing and we’re freakin’ psyched! Last week’s opening games went pretty much as we predicted and we’re more than ready for this week. A lot of in, outs, what-have-you’s, and really, anyone could end up on top. Ok, not really anyone, but we don’t want to spoil your fun this early in the season. So here’s this week’s games of the top 10 presented by cheerleaders, as God intended.

Thursday, September 4th

How To Drop a Deuce In College

Going to college fosters several changes in one’s life. That goes without saying. Students must adjust to a fast paced lifestyle of partying, studying, and working, and in that order. But besides these obvious changes, some of us have to adjust to the idea of a communal bathroom. Now, not having to share a bathroom since my sister left for college three years earlier, I had gotten use to taking my time and not worrying about disturbing others with various noises and smells, other then myself. Even the family cat knew to stay away from my bathroom.

FHM Vs Maxim Model Showdown

After the much loved Sports Illustrated vs Victoria’s Secret, we’ve decided to put together the next installment of hottie head-to-heads: FHM vs Maxim. The best of the best, these two publications have helped define what it means to be a man in the 21st Century–and brought us the hottest chicks from across the globe every month of the year. But which one rolls out the hottest pictures?

The Pros and Cons of an Open Relationship

Open relationships are not just a thing of the past, something your parents tried out on the weekends back in the 70’s before STDs existed. They are alive and well today. And I’m here to explain some of the pros and cons of such a relationship for those of you who may be interested in giving it a try, or who want your friend to give it a try so you can get with his girlfriend that’s too hot for him.

Wednesday, September 3rd

Back-to-School: The Girls of NYU

Anyone who’s traveled to New York City in its warmer months knows the endless parade of spectacular eye-candy that saunters down every block of every street.

And if you live here, you know that the second extra warm day of the year ranks as the most bootylicious scene ever to behold–the most beautiful women in the world aching to show off their new wardrobe.

(Nobody plans for the first warm day, so they’re tragically covered.) But if you go anywhere south of 14th street, you know that the end of August holds another hidden gem–the return of NYU Girls.

The Smile Train Needs To Change Tracks

Dear Smile Train, I know you’re trying to do the right thing. But your cleft lip kid ad campaign sucks and it’s not f**king working. Sure, we’ve all seen it glaring at us from corners of the screen–poor, big-eyed kids with their faces torn up for no reason, giant white print pleading “A click of a mouse can save his life.” And I know that’s supposed to be good for your cause. But because of some ill-advised idea to put your ads on sites devoted to pictures of hot girls, not only do I not click on the ad, I close the whole damn window.

Abby Clancy FHM Pictures Hit The Net

FHM has released new pictures from a photoshoot with COED’s #1 sexiest WAG in the world and an Emegring Hottie of 2008, Abby Clancy. These new photos verify that Clancy really is one of the sexiest women on Earth.

Tuesday, September 2nd

Old vs New: 90210 Babe Showdown

Tonight marks the return of 90’s classic 90210 on the CW (8/7c) with a whole new cast of super-hotties for us to salivate over.

And while the 2008 version may not have the youthful sexiness of Shannen Doherty and Tiffani-Amber Thiessen, the new chicks are so fly, you might sprout wings just watching them. But when it comes down to which season was hotter, we’re leaving that up to you!

Check out all the hotness in our 90210 Babe Showdown

The Perfect Storm: How Gustav Helps McCain

As I write this, the Republican National telethon Convention has officially started. Following Obama and the Democrats, the Republicans began their convention Monday–albeit hindered “because of hurricane Gustav.” Convention coverage has barely broken the exhilarating stranglehold of natural disaster in the mainstream media. Those silly bastards just can’t shut up about the hurricane(s), something that affects only a small portion of the national population. And while it might seem like some small tragedy–and somehow unfair–that the Repubs won’t get as much coverage as the Democrats, don’t be fooled.

R.I.P. Don LaFontaine, aka “That Announcer Guy From The Movies”

Don LaFontaine was the Babe Ruth of Hollywood voice over actors. He single-handedly creating the field back in the 1960’s and lent his voice to over 5,000 movie trailers and nearly 350,000 commercials throughout his career.His most notable work includes the Godfather trilogy, the Terminator series, Cheaper By The Dozen, The Academy Awards, and a recent Geico commercial starring as “that announcer guy from the movies.”

Monday, September 1th

Why I hate Facebook: Reason #1

I hate Facebook. I even went so far as to “delete” my original account. (Which is never actually deleted, btw).  But because nobody else in the entire world seems to share my contempt for the ever-popular social networking Site, I decided to re-open an account in order to keep in touch with all the people who refuse to communicate in any way other than this silly Site. But it’s already come back to haunt me.

Below is an excerpt from an actual conversation between an ex/friend of mine from years past and me from this past weekend that perfectly exemplifies why I hate Facebook.

Sunday, August 31st

The Girls of Labor Day: Chicken Fight

Labor Day Weekend is sorta bittersweet.  On one hand, it’s the last weekend of Summer to throw down with your bros and check out a handful of bikini-clad honeys hanging around the BBQ.  On the other hand, it’s the last weekend of Summer… and that blows.

So rather than sit around and complain about the glorious days of past,  we here at COED thought we’d celebrate this Labor Day Weekend with two of the most awesome things about Summer:  Babes in Bikinis & Chicken Fights.  Yes, you are welcome.

At GQ’s Men Of The Year ceremony, a visibly drunk Allen threw it down against the equally catty troubadour. The result is a beautiful mess.

VIDEO: Elton John and Lily Allen’s Bitchfight

Make Me Babies

VIDEO: Piper Fixes Trig Palin’s Hair With Palm Lick

VIDEO: What Peggy Noonan Really Thinks of Sarah Palin

Postcard.FM

As I write this, the Republican National telethon Convention has officially started. Following Obama and the Democrats, the Republicans began their convention Monday–albeit hindered “because of hurricane Gustav.” But convention coverage has barely broken the exhilarating stranglehold of natural disaster in the mainstream media. Those silly bastards just can’t shut up about the hurricane(s), something that affects only a small portion of the national population. And while it might seem like some small tragedy–and somehow unfair–that the Repubs won’t get as much coverage as the Democrats, don’t be fooled.

This is the best bit of stratagem by the Republicans since Newt Gingrich and the spooge-stained dress. While the 24-hour news channels focuse on the impending doom of Hurricane Gustav and incoming Hanna, McCain and “friends” have taken the opportunity to release some of the most damning information about the Palin pick, saving them countless voters-worth of embarrassment. Here are all the reasons Gustav, Hanna and the rest of the storms are good for the Republicans this week, very good… (more…)

As I write this, the Republican National telethon Convention has officially started. Following Obama and the Democrats, the Republicans began their convention Monday–albeit hindered “because of hurricane Gustav.” But convention coverage has barely broken the exhilarating stranglehold of natural disaster in the mainstream media. Those silly bastards just can’t shut up about the hurricane(s), something that affects only a small portion of the national population. And while it might seem like some small tragedy–and somehow unfair–that the Repubs won’t get as much coverage as the Democrats, don’t be fooled.

This is the best bit of stratagem by the Republicans since Newt Gingrich and the spooge-stained dress. While the 24-hour news channels focuse on the impending doom of Hurricane Gustav and incoming Hanna, McCain and “friends” have taken the opportunity to release some of the most damning information about the Palin pick, saving them countless voters-worth of embarrassment. Here are all the reasons Gustav, Hanna and the rest of the storms are good for the Republicans this week, very good… (more…)