Guys are always looking for a way to get the upper hand in the “mating game.” A good starting point would be to follow Budweiser’s advice and know when to say when or if you’re a Kenny Rogers fan heed the gambler’s advice and know when to hold ‘em, know when to fold ‘em, know when to walk away when the damage is done. In much simpler terms, if you’re into a girl you HAVE to know when she’s rejecting or “negging” you before you get physically denied at the gates. No matter how you use the term – “neg” “negged” “steak ‘n’ neggs” “negg nog” “negatron” “she’s got neggs and she knows how to use them” “Bill and Ted’s neg-cellent adventure” – when it happens, it stings. Below is a list of classic and “new school” negs every guy should be aware of if they want to turn that frown into a visit to Pound Town: (more…)

With Craigslist in the news this week for the capture of the alleged ‘Craigslist Killer,’ who attacked at least two escorts he contacted from the site and killed another, “masseuse” and model, Julissa Brisman, we thought it’d be a good idea to revisit the lovely and hilariously nasty ladies of Craigslist’s “Casual Encounters” section. Here are our top 11 picks, bad grammar and all, for your viewing pleasure. Just remember, if you contact any of these women, I’d make sure you have access to penicillin beforehand – just a hunch. (more…)

Call me a sick son-of-a-b*tch, but there are few things I love more than a good unfortunate/unexpected sh*t story. And by unfortunate/unexpected, I mean the kind of situation that is made extremely complicated and uncomfortable due to an unexpected bowel movement. The following is a totally true account of perhaps the greatest sh*t story ever. (The names and places have been changed to protect the innocent and the guilty. If you are easily offended, now is a good time to stop reading) (more…)

In case you’ve never heard of it, the Kama Sutra is a book and I’ve lost some of you right at the word ‘book,” haven’t I? Wait, wait … let me finish. The Kama Sutra is a book about sex. Welcome back, my friends, welcome back. Written in a year I can’t remember, by a guy whose name I can’t spell (and am not going to look up), the Kama Sutra is today still considered one of the foremost guides on how to have sex. And if that wasn’t enough, there are pictures. Dirty pictures. Lots and lots of dirty pictures.

But what, you’re probably asking yourself, do the Kama Sutra and college have in common? That’s a good question indeed.

There are three sections to the Kama Sutra but only four years in college. Coincidence? Hardly. Poor math skills by a comedy writer who’s borderline retarded? Much more likely. But if you took the Kama Sutra and college life and mixed them together in say, a humorous article, I think you’d get something like this. So, ladies and gentlemen, I present to you, the “College Sutra.” (more…)

Being the sexually active, irresponsible college student that I am, I’ve gone home with my fair share of random girls, and over the past couple of years I’ve come across some sleeping habits that annoy the hell out of me. Nothing is worse than having a peaceful night’s sleep ruined by your hookup’s uncontrollable unconscious tendencies.

These night time nuisances can also lead to a couple of sticky situations. If you’re at her place you can always leave, but what if you’re miles from home and it’s four in the morning and you don’t feel like walking and don’t have the number for a cab? What do you do then? And if you’re at your place how should you handle it? Do you wake her ass up and hope she doesn’t start again when she falls back to sleep, or can you just kick someone out at that point? Is it really that mean if you call and pay for a cab? There’s also the high road; sacrifice your night’s sleep, suck it up and wait for morning when she’ll wake up and leave on her own.

The worst part is, you can’t look at a person and guess that these are coming, no matter the size, shape, or color of the girl anyone could potentially be an awful bed partner, and rarely do they warn you that something might be coming. That should be a common courtesy, like warning someone that you have HPV.

But I digress. Anyway, here are five habits that annoy me more than most: (more…)

When you bring home a one-night stand from the local bar, or even step barefoot into a dorm shower, you may be putting yourself at great physical risk.

So we spoke to doctors from several universities about sexually transmitted infections, sexual dysfunction, steroids, pregnancies and even pubic-hair removal. It wasn’t pleasant.

I. You gave me what?
Most college-student health centers spend lots of time screening patients for sexually transmitted infections, or STIs. Doctors say the number-one reason students schedule appointments is for Pap tests or pelvic exams. Their results might come as a surprise: You’re definitely carrying something, and that something is called HPV. Dr. Davis Smith, medical director of the student health center at Wesleyan University, says: “For college-aged students moderately sexually active – about two to three partners a year – the likelihood of exposure to an HPV (Human Papil-lomavirus) is 100 percent.” Ouch!

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So you’re having great sex and the condom breaks. Maybe you kept it in your wallet too long, or it’s old, or she was a little dry…whatever the case, you need to act quickly.

First thing, you need to pick up Plan B.

Plan B is an emergency contraceptive that can still prevent a pregnancy after contraceptive failure, unprotected sex, or sexual assault. It should be taken within 3 days (72 hours) of unprotected sex and can reduce the risk of pregnancy by up to 89%. But the sooner you take it the more effective it will be.

Anyone over the age of 18 can buy the pill at a local Planned Parenthood for about $30. To find a local Planned Parenthood go online to their website or hit up Google Maps. (more…)

Being a nice guy means many things to a girl – “cute,” “fun to go out with,” “a real good friend” – but it almost never means “I want to bring you back to my place and proceed to ****, ****, and **** every last **** of your **** followed by the best ******* ever.”

Nice guys like my friend (let’s call him “Michael”) tailgate not football games, but Shakespeare in the Park in hopes of laying pipe.

Michael is the type of guy that goes out for drinks with large groups of horny girls that reveal to him every filthy, slutty thought women have (for kicks, right ladies?). He will go on several dates with a chick that won’t even give him a complimentary handjob for his troubles. Michael is a real swell guy who ladies could bring home to their parents without a hitch.

Nice guys like Michael are the biggest victims of the dreaded cuddle rape. (more…)