This nonsense with Brett Favre has GOT to stop. Every morning, I wake up to Mike and Mike on ESPN2 HD (bitches!), and for the past five and a half years I’ve had to listen to them fawn over each and every move this sub-par dude makes. This guy’s pulling a Ross Perot/Michael Jordan times eighty, playing with the emotions of not only Packers fans but the entire GD NFL and, yes, maybe even the universe. Saturn even called, it’s lost like 8 rings from the stress.Favre’s latest maneuver–a text message to a Packers exec who happened to be on vacay–was national headline news for several days. DAYS! HEADLINE NEWS! LOUD NOISES!

First of all, when did Brett morph into a 15 year old girl on her period? Second, since when did text messaging get treated like legitimate news? This is f**king high school gossip! This would cause major waves if it was a sorority board meeting but cripes and crackers, it’s a damn NFL “legend” who’s traded quips with Warren Sapp and once had a mysterious orb-shaped egg thing protruding from his rib cage for an entire season. This is a guy who lost his father then went out and torched the Raiders. I couldn’t even brush my teeth after my dad passed…gas. (more…)

PETA, an organization known for whoring out women “for the cause” as much as their anti-fur sentiments, dedicate an entire website to the Olsen Twins for whoring out fur.

College Candy offers up some gifts to get your mom this holiday season. Better them than us – my mom would be not be too pleased with a gravity bong.

“This Game Show Host Was Hospitalized Today for a Mild Myocardial Infarction”

Jessica Simpson is like, so ready for serious acting in movies and stuff.

Amy Wineshouse proves her love to caged hubby Blake…by arriving too late for visiting hours.

No bathroom is complete without a flat-panel TV/heated-towel rack.

• A & E’s Duane “Dog” Chapman is heading to the Imus Zone after his recent racist rant.

• Women’s sexy clothing is causing many sleepless nights for Malaysia’s Muslim men.

• What’s left for Lance Armstrong to conquer after 7 Tour de France victories? The Olsen Twins???

• People pawn some pretty strange things.

• The Chris Angel Saw Trick revealed.