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It seems that with every year more and more people are starting to look like Rush Limbaugh and Rosie O’Donnell and the free market is quickly adapting to meet the needs of the new, super heavy weight American. Here are five signs that the United States is just getting too fat.

I’m Coming…To Dinner: Family in Denver finds condom in their Campbell’s soup can. Cream of Mushroom, indeed. (Denver Post)
OMG!??!!!!??!: Tila Tequila’s MTV show, A Shot at Love with Tila Tequila, in her words: “GUYS AGAINST GIRLS….WHO WILL I END UP HOOKING UP WITH????? WILL I BE STRAIGHT OR LESBIAN IN THE END?????… Click to read more

Schools ban cupcakes in fear of promoting obesity. Next up: schools ban talking in fear of students having fun. (NY Times)
Sen. Larry Craig plans on resigning after recently issuing a statement on not resigning. He sounds confused…or REALLY, REALLY GAY! (Guardian)
“Kid Nation” to be one-upped by Fox’s “Kid Army,”… Click to read more