This dude created the world’s biggest alarm clock, which is not only controlled by a computer, it’s hooked up to hydraulics and pretty much proves that he has no friends. Besides just waking you up (in a way that would immediately launch me into a murderous rage), this thing can also serve as a pretty sweet sexy toy bed – but I’m sure he never thought of that…

If you’ve ever had an interaction with the police, you know how frustrating it is to be completely helpless from their bullsh*t power – especially when they’re arresting and won’t tell you why. So I completely understand this weird nerd’s pleas. His singing, I don’t quite get. But whatever – he makes up for that entirely after getting Tazered, then getting away! It’s awesome.

I hate Halloween. I have always hated Halloween. One of the first pictures anyone ever took of me is in a pumpkin costume at age 4, crying my eyes out. I don’t hate other people who like Halloween, but the holiday itself makes me so pissed that when prompted to write a Halloween article I refused to write a positive one.

So if you want to hear about why Halloween rocks you should go somewhere else because I f*cking hate it and I’m about to make you hate it too by listing some reasons why it’s terrible and should be canceled. (more…)

Film School Rejects is dedicated to one thing: drunkenness. The site has been slowly turning its readers into stumbling drunk fools by making drinking games out of each weeks new movie releases.Take a look at some of the most ridiculous drinking games of 2008 — some of which will definitely lead to death if done correctly. As a bonus, there’s a special drinking game for Awards season, which can be played while watching any movie that earns an award nomination between now and the Oscars.

Superbad Drinking Game

God bless Judd Apatow for ushering in a new slate of R-rated comedies. We got trashed watching Katherine Heigl take it from Seth Rogan in Knocked Up earlier this year. Now, we’re going to offer a toast to Superbad.

And now, to cover our butts… This game is only for people over the age of 21. Please drink responsibly… unless you’re cops with guns, in which case you can do whatever you want.

TAKE A DRINK WHENEVER…. (more…)

After years of incompetent singer/dancer nobodies clamming up R&B comes Kenna, protege of Pharrell Williams (Neptunes, N.E.R.D. and Star Trak records).

Kenna grafts the electro of Neptunes’ early millennium work with DFA’s gold-standard dancepunk – think Rapture dry-humping “Le Chic” with sexy results.

Nerds and Sorority girls. They go together like a John Hughes movie and the 80’s.Which is probably why Washington State’s Linux Users Group (the university’s largest computer club) has decided put out a memo to all the sororities on campus: “Make us over, and we’ll do your homework.â€?

In an effort to attract more women to the computer science program (and get a free haircut), the “nerdsâ€? of WSU’s Linux Club plan to host a “nerd auctionâ€?.

“You can buy a nerd and he’ll fix your computerâ€?, their website explains, “help you with stats homework, or if you’re really adventurous, take you to dinner!â€?

But before the computer loving dudes go through with the auction, they’re looking for a few good sorority girls to make them more appealing.

“If anyone’s going to bid on us, we’ll need some spicing up. And who better to help with that than sorority girls who like nothing better than a makeover?â€?

While the whole “Beauty and the Greekâ€? event is still in the planning stages, WSU’s computer program has garnered national attention because of it. (more…)

After writing a little bit about Second Life, I got to thinking about the types of people who play it. And then I got to thinking about the sex lives of those people. And then I shuddered a little, but also wondered:Do geeks make good boyfriends?

Because the internet is all expansive and all knowing, someone has already answered that question for me in a convenient, numbered fashion.

Many of the reasons are funny, and most make a lot of sense. Like number 6:

“[geeks] are quite good at remembering dates. Like birthdates and such, especially if they know it’ll make you happy. (more…)

At the beginning, you didn’t think it was that odd that your girlfriend didn’t have a posse on Friday nights… after all, you met at the beginning of freshman year. But it’s been a few weeks, and you’ve got your boys but her girls seem to be… non-existent. Have you accidentally found a nerd?

Even if her weekends aren’t filled with tons of plans, don’t be too worried. Think of both the good and bad.

Good: If she likes hanging out by herself, you’ll be in the clear when you want to have a boys’ night or not get out of bed on Sunday unless football is involved.
Bad: She might have trouble getting close to you. Not so bad now, but in a few months, her lack of intimacy won’t help the relationship. (more…)

“Camp Anawanna, we hold you in our hearts…â€? and what kid didn’t dream of going to a summer camp like the one portrayed on Nickelodeon’s Salute Your Shorts.

Nickelodeon’s show about a camp and the hijinks that went on there featured people you may recognize from your own camper days like: Michael, the new kid; Donkeylips, the fat guy; Bobby Budnick, the resident asshole who introduced our generation to Metallica; Sponge, the nerd; Pinsky, the jock; Telly, the tomboy; Z.Z. the hippie; Dina Alexander, the camp hottie; and their counselor Kevin Lee otherwise known as “Ugâ€? (Am I the only one who notices a resemblance to the lead singer of Gin Blossoms?). (more…)