This sucks.

I busted my ass, did well in school, made smart choices. Now, I am graduating after four years of college that I paid for all myself – not through selling my “virginity” – but through loans. Now what? There are no jobs in the major markets that are even marginally appealing to anyone. I am not lucky enough to have parents who can float me for a year. My dad is a construction worker, but no offense, I am not graduating cum laude to do construction – sorry. I am just not sure I have a choice. But here are the few choices for graduating seniors I could scrounge together:

1. Everyone and their little cheerleader sister are heading to grad school. They don’t even know what for, but they took their GRE, MCAT, GMAT and every other test acronym I can think of. The upside is a delay for entering reality and you can push loan repayment for another 3 years or so, but F&*$ THAT! I need a break from school. I would love to actually get out of the academic world for at least a brief stint. Not writing off grad school totally, but I need about 2 years to figure out what I want to do. That degree in Finance, with a concentration in structured finance, that I am about to get isn’t worth the paper it is printed on. Thanks to my academic adviser! Way to steer me into a stable high growth industry.

2. A couple of my friends are determined to enter the military. Right now, there are serious incentives for entering the military. $10,000 in cash, money for grad school, and they will repay a portion of your school loans. Not too shabby, but we are talking about the military. Let us be straight, the US Military is not the beloved treasure it once was. My brother was in the Army and said he would help repay my loans for me before I join the military. Though tempting, I can’t take him up on it. Even though it will TOTALLY suck, it buys me 3 – 5 years, travel (to a desert somewhere in the Middle East), and serious help with school loans. The other upside is that as college graduates, we jump 5 pay-grades to an E-6 (Staff Sergeant) after training. Obviously I am trying to talk myself into this one – but it just seems drastic.

3. My girlfriend wants to join the Peace Corp, but with the way people LOVE Americans right now, I feel like that is joining the military without being given a gun. I hear stories about people who serve in the Peace Corp and attacked in foreign countries…not cool. Albeit, two of the people I know attacked in Africa were girls – I am just leery of that whole system. There are good stories too. People who get to travel the world, gain different perspectives, and learn different languages. Also, loan deferment is good – but they pay next to nothing, and my family doesn’t have money to spot me. I almost feel like the PC is more for rich kids who don’t want to go into the family business just yet. Either way, language experience in Swahili or something like that is not exactly going to a huge resume builder.

4. So many people are now running to get certified with education credits so they can teach. I am not one of those. I can’t teach. I would want to bang hot high school schools and 6-year-olds annoy the piss out of me. Noble profession, just not for me.

5. The Priesthood or some other religious vocation? I will pick up the Rosetta Stone – Swahili edition before I do that. Again, don’t like 6-year-olds.

6. There is always the option to just suck it up. Suck it up, and try my luck out in the job market. The problem is that there are tons of people in there late 20s through their 50s competing for the same jobs. People with ridiculous experience right now. I read in FORTUNE that GE right now has 50-year-old former executives with MBAs and law degrees, applying for the same jobs as college graduates. One thing is for sure – I wouldn’t pick me.

Seriously though – if I missed an option, please let me know. Yes, the idea of porn star and circus performer did cross my mind, but again – trying to not waste the $70,000 I just spent on school.

Two weeks ago I had never owned, bought, or even worn a suit. Now, I’ve done all three of those things, and I picked up some valuable information along the way. I’d like to pass it on to any other nubes contemplating their first grown-up outfit. Keep in mind that less than a month ago I had never associated with a suit or an event that called for one, so if any of these tips seem a bit elementary you’ll have to wait for my Level 2 tips; these are for beginners.

1) Don’t button the bottom button

No matter what you do leave that last button alone. Two-button, three-button, even four; the one closest to your feet is never used. I’m not sure why it’s there if you’re not allowed to use it, but it is. I quickly made this mistake while putting on my first jacket and was reprimanded immediately. Turns out even buttons can be for show. It seems like extra work for whoever makes the suit. But I’m not Calvin Klein, so I’ll leave that sort of thinking up to him. (more…)

Fads In Football: The Good, the Bad, and the Ugly

Football fans are a curious bunch. We are creatures of habit. We complain about concession prices, but shovel out eight dollars for a beer and six bucks for a dog the minute the second quarter ends. We are like sheep on an open range.

Our adherence to tradition and rituals, however, is something that makes us unique.

Most of our traditions, such as Army and Navy standing together, side-by-side after the game, are sacred. But this isn’t about traditions—it’s about fads, and while some of them need to be permanent traditions, others need to be dumped forever.

A look at some of the fads in football that have made “The good, the bad, and the ugly” list.

Charges Dropped Against Gator Bandits

Five students from Embry-Riddle Aeronautical University who tried stealing a baby alligator from a miniature-golf course in Daytona Beach will get the charges dropped.

Prosecutors say as part of the plea agreement announced Monday, the students must do a year of community service. They will also have to do an anti-theft course, take random drug tests, pay fees to the city and they can’t visit the golf course.[Fort Mill Times]