I turned 21 recently, and was thinking about all the epic things I could do to celebrate the occasion. I wanted to make it the greatest birthday ever because, after all, it truly is. There’s something about being allowed to go out with your friends to a bar that just says “Congratulations, you’re an adult! You may now be in the presence of alcohol without someone flipping out.”

On the off-chance you’ve actually impressed a lady enough to the point that she wants to introduce you to her parents, it’s helpful not to blow the meeting. Nerves can ruin even the smoothest of smooth-talkers, especially if Daddy is an ex-war hero. The George Fockers of the world should pay particularly close attention to the following tips:

It’s easy to forget that dads weren’t always dads, which is why we honor them (for giving up their dreams for you). But instead of just doing whatever your mom or sister planned this year, give him some quality guy-time–because that’s all he really wants. And remember, just because Father’s Day is only today, that doesn’t mean you these rad guy activities wouldn’t still kick ass.

When you take college girls, feed them alcohol and put them in a bar environment, a remarkable thing happens: their behavior falls into remarkably consistent patterns. Based on our research, we’ve identified five types of girls you’re likely to meet in a college bar.

There’s no question in my mind that women can do everything men can do, and probably better, most of the time. But once a woman becomes a mom, there are a few things she should avoid. At the top of that list, just after “stripper,” is riding dirt bikes – because when they do, it goes horribly, hilariously wrong. And this time, there’s a bonus surprise mishap, which I’m sure you’ll enjoy.

If you thought you were the only one in your family posting regrettable pictures on the Internet, then we have some terrible news for you: Your mom is doing it, too! Now, we know we might have gone a little over-the-top with this one, but after coming across hundreds of these pictures on Flickr, we couldn’t help ourselves.

HO-LY SH!!!!!T! This is f**king incredible. A kid dresses up in some sort of crazy-ass halloween costume and then screams his ass off, scaring his mom… into labor! Seriously, her water literally breaks on camera. (Wait till the end – there’s slo-mo.) So now you know – if you want to totally f**k-up a pregnant lady’s day, just jump out and scare the, uh, human out of her…

All girls are rare and beautiful snowflakes — this much we know.
Yet when you take college girls, feed them alcohol and put them in a bar environment, a remarkable thing happens: their behavior falls into remarkably consistent patterns. Based on our research, we’ve identified five types of girls you’re likely to meet in a college bar.… Click to read more

It’s tough when your mom leaves the family for a burglar more handsome than your dad.… Click to read more

You cheated with your ex. Yes, you’re an idiot. Here’s how to tell if your girlfriend will take you back.

Chances are many of you reading this have abused cold medicines in the past.  It’s such a rampant problem that the South Park guys dedicated an episode to it.
The government’s Substance Abuse and Mental Health Services Administration said 3 million young people in the United States between the ages of 12 and 25 admitted getting high off the medicines… Click to read more

She died of elective cosmetic surgery. Tragedy? Sure. But after watching the AMA Awards, you would have thought she died of cancer or leukemia. When she went in for her nose job/tummy tuck/ whatever – she accepted the risks of that surgery.
Over the weekend, thousands of people died of terminal diseases. People with families who have struggled and sac… Click to read more

All hail old-timey traditions that include things like…beer!
I’ve been trying for over 24 hours to enter this site. Now that it’s up and running, feast your eyes and taste buds on the future of pizza.
VIDEO: Fastest. Stripper. Ever. (Notice I only said fastest.)
I can barely carve an eye into a pumpkin, let alone the Death Star.
The family t… Click to read more

This couple (sadly) outdid Maury Povich with a little help from their friends. (Sky News)
Florida mom waves gun at kids at a bus stop, shouting “You can all get some of this!” after hearing about her son getting bullied. The whole incident occurred on the west side of town. It’s painfully obvious: momma was just representing the westsiiii… Click to read more

For only £300,000 you – yes, you! – can have your very own Roman Bath house. It’s perfect for relaxing baths, toga parties and Caligula-styled orgy blowouts. (BBC News)
Honda Accord: reliable on gas, not so reliable in ATM-dragging category. (Times News)
Young? Single? Horny? Democrat? Join the Obama Swingers Club today! (Gawker)
Int… Click to read more