The album everyone has been talking about will be released this week: Metallica’s “Death Magnetic” hits shelves on Friday and the reaction has been pretty split, based on the leaks. This is the band’s first release since their 2003 “St. Anger”. I’m not quite sure why or how they’re releasing their album this Friday instead of today, but hey, they’re Metallica. I’m sure they can do whatever they want. Maybe they were scared that if they released the album on a Tuesday, too many kids would pirate it off by the weekend? (more…)

Outside of being the most unfunny comedian of the new millennium – his shtick is one-part enunciating certain words and phrases for cheap laughs and two-parts “cutie-pie” Abercomedy and Fitch – Dane Cook is gay. Really, really, really gay. Don’t let his teaming up with Jessica Alba in Good Luck Chuck fool you: Dane Cook rails dudes.

If his limp, non-comedy wasn’t already an indicator of his fagginess, his new “song” rams his wild boner-for-boys straight up the non-proverbial pooper. Only 12-year-old sissy boys (or people with the stunted taste of a 12-year-old sissy boy) like Dane Cook – no exceptions.

Mitch Hedberg and Bill Hicks are both rolling in their graves.

“When did mediocrity and banality become a good image for your children?” – Bill Hicks