3 Reasons Barack Obama is No Keanu Reeves

MSDMATR EC061

With trailers popping up for his new movie The Day the Earth Stood Still pending release on December 12, we are reminded that in the movies Keanu Reeves is the answer. And at the same time, all over the news and in the media, Barack Obama is being touted as the new Keanu Reeves, capable of solving all our problems with some fantastical superpower. But please heed this warning: Barack Obama is not Keanu Reeves. This world is not the Matrix, or The Day… and Barack is not Neo or Klatuu. (more…)

Re-Enter the Dragon

Enter the Dragon

Warner Bros. development department is compiled mostly of wh*res.Why the harshness do you ask? Good question, and my answer is simple. Don’t f**k with perfection.

Did the Vatican say, “Ya know Benny, da’ta ceiling on’a da’ chapel sure is molte bene, but don’t you a’ wish we coulda’ redo it wit a little CGI? Lika’ da’ Matrix?” No they didn’t. In ‘72, did Shula say, “You know what guys, I know we are undefeated but I want to make sure everyone gets a chance to play – Go on third team! You’re in!” No he did not. Did Ron Jeremy say, “You know what, maybe I shouldn’t be the only 350 lb porn star with DD-man-boobs – Jenny Craig here I come!” Hells no, the Hedgehog did no such thing.

Why, pray tell, would anyone in their right mind agree to remake Enter the Dragon.

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