If you spend hours coming up with a LEGO contraption built specifically for jerking you off, it’s probably a good time to get out of the house. Because if you don’t, that’s the only action you’re ever going to get…ever. Then again, I have to admit, it’s pretty ingenious. Maybe next time, use some of that ingenuity to figure out why you’re so lonely.

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It was about 1:30 in the morning on a Thursday night and I was doing what most red blooded males do–masturbate.

In my room with the door shut and the lights out, my laptop was sitting on my legs, while the headphones were in my ears. I was navigating through the wide world of internet porn when suddenly my female roommate comes bursting through the door. The lights come on and she begins to tell me how her night had gone. I looked at her, in complete shock and said, “Umm…I’m jacking off here. What do you need?” (more…)

Experts are saying that if you’re freeing willy numerous times a day, every day, you’ve got yourself a problem.

Now, we’ve been told that masturbation is natural and healthy, but too much of anything is not good. When done in an excessive and compulsive manner, choking your chicken may lead to psychological and physiological imbalances in your body.

We’re not jerking your chain (no pun intended).

According to AskMen.com, over-practiced masturbation can stimulate acetylcholine/parasympathetic nervous functions. Such immoderate amounts of stimulation can result in an over-production of sex hormones causing a significant change in body chemistry.

The side effects aren’t pretty. They can manifest themselves as: fatigue, hair-loss, memory loss, blurred vision or testicular/groin pain.

On top of that, too much masturbation can lead to sexual exhaustion and the appearance of erectile dysfunction. That’s not a good thing for a guy who’s far from the average onset of these difficulties.

If you think you’re addicted to paddling your pickle, there are ways to beat it. (more…)

New York Magazine does these Sex Diaries that are sometimes cool, sometimes lame. Sometimes they’re interesting portrayals of every day life, and sometimes they make it seem like EVERYONE in New York City is having copious amounts of crazy sex — which isn’t always the case, btw. What would happen, I wondered, if someone blogged about their sex life for a week? Would it be cooler? Funnier? More believable?

College Candy was lucky enough to have a self professed “Relentlessly Unromantic, Self-Absorbed, Single Stripper” write an in depth SexBlog about a week of her life.

Check out College Candy’s SexBlog: The Relentlessly Unromantic, Self-Absorbed, Single Stripper you’ll read about many lap dances, one possible foursome opportunity, one masturbation session, one surprise old man penis, multiple rounds of out-of-this-world sex with one nameless Irishman. Read More

Finally, technology with a point: After decades of waiting (and numerous hints towards its possibility via movies like Barbarella and Woody Allen’s Sleeper) science has taken a bold step forward in sexuality, coming close to controlling the human orgasm.

Dr. Stuart Meloy, a pain specialist in North Carolina, has concocted (be on the lookout for vague sexual innuendos from here on out) the Orgasmatron, a device that can stimulate pleasure through electrodes hitting the right spots. This. Is. Big. News. (more…)

Vagina in a Cup is not like D*** in a Box. It’s not a parody. In fact, it’s quite serious – if you consider sticking your dong in a cup a serious matter.

Produced by Tenga, a Japanese company (obviously), Vagina in a Cup is, well…I better let the fine folks at Tenga explain what it does:

“A deep ’sucking’ sensation made possible by a special structure. Special valves create a virtual vacuum inside the cup, to deliver an amazing sucking sensation. And, the unique pinched-in shape helps to achieve an unparalleled tightness. These advanced features combine with an arousing ’slurping’ sound and vibration to give you the feeling that you’re enjoying a real deep throat experience.”

These sex products get me so angry sometimes – not because of what they promise, but for my pride being too high to take the plunge and try them out. (more…)

It’s been a solid thirty minutes since you set up shop at the library and somehow you can’t quite get past the first line of chapter one.

Your eyes have been wandering over to gaze at that hot babe in your American Lit class (Damn, she’s got nice pair of…arms), you’ve gotten up to use the bathroom about ten times and you’ve spent countless hours looking at pictures on scandalous Facebook groups.

We’ve seen it a thousand times and you know what it’s called: procrastination. Unfortunately, friends, we’re pretty much sabotaging ourselves.

Why? Two procrastination experts – yes, they study our laziness for a living – came up with a Top 10 list on why we procrastinate. But be forewarned: one of the psychologists is Canadian.

10. For 20 percent of the population, procrastination is a lifestyle. On college campuses, we thought 87 percent sounded more accurate, but we’re no psychologists.

9. Our culture doesn’t take procrastination as a serious problem. They say there’s more of it in the U.S. because we’re nice people and don’t call others out on their laziness. We believe the doctors have never visited New York City or driven through rush hour traffic in Los Angeles.

8. Procrastinators don’t necessarily have time-management problems but are far more optimistic about time than others. (more…)

You know what’s so weird, yet so understandable? If a women gets caught masturbating with some wacky device most guys would say, “niiiiiice” and be turned on. Now, if a girl walked in on a sweaty dude huffing and puffing away, plugging some doll…well, it’s not exactly a turn-on, is it?

But wait, sex-starved fellas! Your time has come, for the Rubbot is here to prevent you from embarrassing “caught you!” masturbation moments (no it isn’t, and no it won’t).

The Rubbot, still under development, is basically a blue donut that you stick your wang in for pleasure – not embarrassing in the slightest, right? Using the Inch Worm Theory, the dirty donut (with a glory hole) uses a two-cam roller that creates a “rubbing” effect on the shaft of your staff. The Rubbot can provide maximum pleasure…if you’re not getting laid already, that is. (more…)