In May 1995, San Francisco-based sex toy and education shop Good Vibrations declared May to be “Masturbation Month.” Then in 1999, the Masturbate-a-Thon originated; the annual events (in San Fran & Denmark) “increase awareness of self-pleasure as a strategy for safer and healthier sex and to de-stigmatise self-love”. We thought we jerked it way too much, but then we saw these record holders (they’re f***ing machines). Once you’ve placed your eyeballs back in your head, take a gander at our gallery of downright funny demotivational posters about pounding the purple headed yogurt slinger after the jump.

• The most popular man in America

• Would you wear these?

• The underwear stealing cat

• Smile if you masturbate

• Celeb softball gets sexy

• 5 friends everyone needs this summer

• Shakira’s world cup belly

Experts are saying that if you’re freeing willy numerous times a day, every day, you’ve got yourself a problem.
Now, we’ve been told that masturbation is natural and healthy, but too much of anything is not good. When done in an excessive and compulsive manner, choking your chicken may lead to psychological and physiological imbalance… Click to read more

I’ve went to the gym a total of four times in my entire life, and never plan on going again. I understand the act of great courage that goes into being overweight and exercising at the gym, in the public.
In my case, I can’t get over the fact that I feel like a total idiot next to ripped dudes that can bench my body weight with one arm tied behind their back… Click to read more

You know what’s so weird, yet so understandable? If a women gets caught masturbating with some wacky device most guys would say, “niiiiiice” and be turned on. Now, if a girl walked in on a sweaty dude huffing and puffing away, plugging some doll…well, it’s not exactly a turn-on, is it?
But wait, sex-starved fellas! Your time… Click to read more