Out of the myriad of things wrong with today’s society, we need to thank Matt and Trey for calling attention to one of the greatest underlying causes of racial tension in the United States. Urination etiquette is of course the underlying issue, but as we all learned last night – there are just too many minorities in our waterparks. (To be fair though, there are a growing number of fat white people wearing t-shirts in the pool as well.)

(Check Out The Full Episode Here)

Not My Water Park – Lyrics

What has happened to this place
I don’t recognize it anymore
It used to be so fun and special
What is life worth living for

The dream is dead
Our land is gone
There’s a hole in my heart
And I can’t go on

There are too many minorities (minorities)
At my water park (my water park)
This was our land, our dream (our dream)
and they’ve taken it all away

They just keep coming and coming (minorities)
I tried to go and tell the police
But even the authorities
Are minorities (are minorities)
At my water park

There’s no place for me to sit anymore
And the lines just keep getting crazier
There are Mexicans all around me
The lazy river has never been lazier

It’s a 40 minute wait to go down one slide
And the instructions are in Spanish on the Zip Line ride (just do it in English!)

There are too many minorities (too many)
At my water park (somebody do something)
Where did they all come from
Why can’t they leave this land alone

And it’s such a tragedy (feel a bit like dying)
We looked the other way too long
We’ve got to change our priorities
And get all these minorities
Out of my water park

(Minorities) Mexicans and Asians
Black people
I think I even saw Native Americans (gross)

God I’m asking please
Get all of these minorities
Out of my water park (my water park)

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A lot of complaints have been said about hip hop, about everything from its glorification of drugs, money, guns and violence to its degradation of women. But never has anyone argued that rap is just too, what’s the word?, gay. Until now. Our friends over at Cracked.com have put their journalism degrees to the test by investigating the dark world of unintentionally gay rap lyrics. From 50 Cent to Ice-T (and back to 50 Cent again), nobody’s safe from their lyric-Googling powers. Though I’m a bit worried about the safety of the Cracked staff – those guys might be in for a beat down.

Check out the 25 Most Unintentionally Gay Rap Lyrics Ever: Part 1, Part 2

It’s indisputable: “Riverbottom Nightmare Band” is not only the greatest Christmas song of all time, but the greatest song of all time, period.

I’m not even joking: check the heavy as f*** main riff, 70’s glam-rock moves and of course, the most bad-a** lyrics and melodies ever penned by puppets. This makes stoner-rock groups like Black Sabbath and Deep Purple sound like Smash Mouth by comparison.

So what if the lyrics don’t deal directly with Christmas. Emmet Otter’s Jug Band Christmas, the movie the song is featured in, is a holiday movie; it’s festive by default. And it totally destroys Emmet’s entry into the talent show, the lame-o “In Our World/Brothers.”

Check out the mind-blowing lyrics after the jump! (more…)

Most people’s first encounter with the ultra hip, uber talented band, The Ting Tings can be attributed to Steve Jobs and his brilliant iPod commercials. Their song, Shut Up and Let Me Go, was catchy, fun and piqued everyone’s interest…in more than an MP3 player. Fortunately, that song wasn’t the only trick up The Ting Tings’ sleeve.Their newest album, We Started Nothing, is further proof of this duo’s serious talent. Unable to get those songs out of our heads, COED just had to get the story behind the band. So, we did. The good news: Katie White is just as down to earth and cool as she is talented. And, though we didn’t get to chat with Jules, we are pretty sure the same goes for him.

COED: We Started Nothing is chock full of textured beats, irresistible melodies and witty lyrics- where do the songs come from?
The Ting Tings: We didn’t intend to form in a band so I think it came from a very honest place, because when we wrote these songs we didn’t think anyone would ever hear them. We just wrote them to play for our friends at parties. We were both feeling quite frustrated at the time and very sort of, I don’t know, like, invisible. We had been in a band that hadn’t worked out, we had a bit of a horrible time with it; I think it came from a real frustrated point of view, but they weren’t negative songs; they were just songs to make us feel better.

COED: Could you describe your song writing process?
TT: It’s completely different for every song. Both myself and Jules write everything together. Sometimes it will be that I will come up with something on the guitar and then we’ll come up with an idea on top of that. Or Jules might come up with something on the guitar or drums, or we’ll play keyboards or we’ll just have this little percussive sound. We just turn to sing like guy vocals and then an idea will come out of it. (more…)