Today’s WTF news items feature lies, lies, lies! And a chick who will be lying down for quite some time. Your worst suspicions are confirmed as Taco Bell proves it only hires delusional spokespeople, a woman who most likely isn’t getting it done on Match.com takes a leap of faith, and a doctor/professor proves smart people can be dumb. Read more after the jump!

Today’s WTF news items feature a very ballsy college student who wasn’t happy with his hooker, a Ukrainian crocodile who gets better reception than AT&T, and a Canadian college kid who probably doesn’t get laid a whole lot. Read more after the jump!

COED is known for two things: our love of popular strip clubs and our detective skills. Well last night combined them both when we realized that “Admirals,” the number one strip club in Chicago, has an ad that includes a White Sox stripper holding a Derek Jeter game issue “New York Yankees” baseball bat. And don’t start assuming that our detective skills are that top notch. It’s not hard to spot these ads when they’re everywhere from bar bathrooms to a giant truck driving around the city.

Jon Gosselin. It boggles the mind that he’s a dad, an Octadad, no less. He is the posterboy for douchebags everywhere. Don’t believe me? He wears Ed Hardy all the time. That should be evidence enough. I started thinking about other douchebag celebrities and what if these crazies started having babies? My head hurts thinking about it. Beware these five idiots. Be afraid. Be very afraid.

Like many Americans, we here at COED have been constantly harassed for the past year, countless times a day, by robocalls announcing that ‘the warranty on your vehicle is about to expire’. Time and again, we pressed ’1′ to speak to a “warranty specialist”, connecting us to some a**hole in a call center somewhere, who we asked to remove our names from the list. We never were. But now, they’re totally screwed.

Remember a while back, when that lady sued McDonald’s for millions of dollars because her coffee was too hot? Well, it turns out that many of the details of that case were left out of the reporting. Things like the fact that her coffee really was too hot; so hot, it was capable of “instantaneous destruction of the skin.” And did you know that t… Click to read more

A couple of months ago we reported that Fox Studios filed a motion to halt the release date of Watchmen by Warner Brothers on March 6th.  On December 24th 2008, a judge declared, “Fox owns a copyright consisting of, at the very least, the right to distribute the Watchmen motion picture.” Last weekend attorney’s began negotiating a settlement.
Last night the m… Click to read more

We all know President-elect Barack Obama has smoked marijuana, but it seems some people don’t think linking him further to the drug is a good idea. And it’s not who you might suspect. Rolling paper company Bambu, which has been included in films such as “Totally Baked: A Pot-u-mentary” and the “Cheech and Chong” seri… Click to read more

I cannot stand getting sick. About a month ago, I caught a vicious flu bug and completely denied its existence in my system until I woke up one Sunday morning hallucinating and unable to stand.Had I only taken more Airborne….my feverish mind reasoned as my roommate and I raced to the emergency room…I would be completely healthy right now…
Well, it turns out, I c… Click to read more

Ladies be warned: you can’t change a player’s game in the 9th inning. (NY Post)
When violators of driving laws are stopped, Illinois will take their toll. (Chicago Sun-Times)
A Headmaster in the U.K. school system says children should have “a daily dose of fear.” When reached for comment, Severus Snape didn’t return calls… Click to read more