Earlier in the week, COED took a look at the “Top Five Future Superstar Hitters Of The MLB,” and now it is time to preview the future of the sport on the mound.  With Roger Clemens, Pedro Martinez, Mike Mussina, Greg Maddux, and Tom Glavine sipping on some tea, kicking back and counting retirement money, we’ll take a look at the top five starting pitchers that are 25 years or younger who are sure to be the next generation of staff aces.

(Note: We are ignoring any pitchers who haven’t been around for at least one full season, so sorry David Price fans!)

5.  Felix Hernandez – Seattle Mariners – 23 years old

King Felix came up to the Big Show back in 2005 at the age of 19 and has shown flashes of brilliance ever since.  While his 43-38 career record may not turn heads, consider that fact that he’s been playing for an awful Seattle team that has shown penchant for losing more than 90 games.  His stuff dominates at times, as evidenced by his career 8.11 strikeouts per nine innings ratio.

4.  Zach Greinke – Kansas City Royals – 25 years old

Greinke was supposed to be the next big thing when he came up as a 20 year old in 2004.  However, he struggled with injuries and emotional problems and never fully realized his potential for super stardom. Now, he is building on his positive 2008 season and has been as strong as they come this year.  In his first 7 starts, he has a 6-1 record, a 0.50 ERA, 4 complete games, 2 shutouts, and 59 strikeouts in only 53 innings.  His one loss was a 1-0 complete game loss in Anaheim.  Wow.

3.  Jon Lester – Boston Red Sox – 25 years old

Jon Lester is quickly becoming the staff ace for the Boston Red Sox. His journey began in 2006 where he posted a respectable 7-2 record, but was later diagnosed with lymphoma.  Two years later, he pitched a no-hitter against the Royals, won the final game of the 2007 World Series, and has been dominant with a career 29-11 record.

2.  Cole Hamels – Philadelphia Phillies – 25 years old

If you want to look at the one person who was most responsible for ending the championship drought for the city of Philadelphia last year, look no further than the lanky lefty California native, Cole Hamels. Hamels was electric in the postseason, being named MVP of both the NLCS and the World Series to go along with his perfect 4-0 record.

1.  Tim Lincecum – San Francisco Giants – 24 years old

Tim Lincecum won the 2008 NL Cy Young award in only his second year, becoming the first to do so since Dwight Gooden and Bret Saberhagen accomplished the feat back in 1985, a year after he was born. Lincecum is nicknamed “The Freak” for his long stride, crazy mechanics, and ability to wear out the radar gun despite his small frame.  He led the majors in strikeouts in 2008, posting an 18-5 record to go along with his 265 strikeouts.  This year, he is continuing where he left off with a 3-1 record and 58 strikeouts in his first 44 innings.

Honorable Mention:
Josh Johnson – Florida Marlins – 25 years old
Chad Billingsley – Los Angeles Dodgers – 24 years old
Joba Chamberlain – New York Yankees – 23 years old
Francisco Liriano – Minnesota Twins – 25 years old
Edison Volquez – Cincinnati Reds – 25 years old

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A New Jersey man was arrested for impersonating Yankees pitcher Joba Chamberlain in order to gain free bagels and some celebrity va-jay-jay – allegedly over 100 girls in fact.

COED was unable to interview the perpetrator, Ryan Ward, but this is how we’d imagine he’d answer if we asked him what was going through his mind during his run as the faux Joba:

“Finding the right celebrity to rip off of is difficult. I’m not remotely good looking so that rules out movie star. I’ve never really been considered cool, which nixes rock star. I wanted to be an athlete but I’m sort of fat and slobbish, thus ruling out any real sport let alone being mistaken for having any athleticism. Being a baseball player was the clear choice.

“I mean, it’s not even a real sport for god sakes. Given all the qualifications mentioned, I could have been anyone on the Red Sox. I once said on was on the Mets but people just threw rocks at me. But I gotta say, Jersey’s such a tough market as there are so many other complete hacks willing to milk other people’s successes.”

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