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On top of looking like a long-term homeless person and mumbling like he forgot to take the sheet of acid out of his pocket, Joaquin Phoenix’s Letterman interview goes so badly it’s hard to watch. In fact, it’s almost hard to believe. Either this guy’s completely lost it, or he’s pulling the biggest stunt since Kaufman’s Tony Clifton. I’m hoping it’s that – because if not, it would seem the damages are irreversable.

When we heard last week that P. Diddy would be producing a rap album for Joaquin Phoenix, we thought it was just some bad joke. Turns out, it’s true. But after seeing Joaquin bust his ass falling off a stage during a rap performance, we realized that it is still just a big joke.

Elton John did it in 1979. MJ decided baseball was the sport for him in 1993. Jay-Z quit rapping in 2003 and Eminem did the same in ‘05. Favre gave his tearful goodbyes to football in March of 2008, etc.

Elton John still tours, Jordan won three more championships, retired again… and came back again, Jay-Z has released two albums and has a third on the way, Eminem’s first post-retirement album drops this year, Favre… seven months after his retirement he has thrown for 1,600 years and 17 touchdowns, T-Pac is dead and still releases albums.

The point here is that sports, political, and entertainment retirements have been bullshit since Teddy Roosevelt decided he wanted a third term as president in 1911. Sure, Michael Jordan’s feel-good comeback story only added to his mystique, but now it seems as if there is a new cheap retirement publicity stunt being pulled every other week.

Just today Joaquin Phoenix has officially quit Hollywood to focus on music and although he did an amazing job playing Johnny Cash in Walk the Line by judging from past celebrity musicians this new career move will not pan out and he’ll be back.

If This Growing Trend Gets Under Your Skin Take A Look At This Historical Time Line Of The BS Celebrity Retirements.