injuries : COED Magazine

Comparing scars and talking about how we got hurt is part of our male ego. The more disgusting the story, the harder people cringe, and the closest people come to puking are the best ways to measure the success of an injury. My injuries may not rank that high on the national scale of manliness, but a couple are sure to send shivers up your spine. First we’ll get into cuts, the breaks, then my worst injury which still makes me wanna puke.

I’ve had about 900 stitches in my illustrious 23 years. The most terrifying injury I’ve ever had isn’t nearly the worst. It happened when I was in 5th grade out in the woods with a couple of my friends. We were off adventuring and looking at the Playboy’s we had previously stashed there that I stole from my dad. We came across a barbwire fence in our way, and of course it was just another obstacle in our way. My 2 friends made it over basically unharmed, and it was now my turn to join them. I got up the 6 foot fence, lost my footing and fell over landing on my head. Luckily I still had my bicycle helmet on to brace my fall. Once i got up I felt a pain in my leg and looked down, blood was flowing down my leg like an erupting volcano. A jagged wire caught a chunk of skin on my inner thigh, approximately 2 inches away my nuts. This is clearly why it was a horrible experience, as I look back I could have lost my jewels before I even knew what it was. I wrapped it with my shirt, and started the walk home to have my parents assess the damage. As we cleaned the giant hole in my leg we saw some pretty sick shit. I saw the muscles in my leg pumping, exploded veins, and tissue in the wrong places. Twenty-three stitches on the inside to close up some damage and 18 to close the outside. Needless to say I was the pimp of my elementary school the next day as rumor spread. (more…)

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