With the fall right around the corner, its time to prepare for the coming swine flu apocalypse that the media is saying will undoubtedly occur. To help the male population that will have to repopulate the earth after the mass chaos subsides, we here at COED have prepared a guide to help you survive the new plague. (more…)

Driving is a delicate endeavor – not only do you have to make sure you don’t f**k up, you’re effectively putting your life in the hands of everyone else on the road with you. So it’s no surprise that those who do it wrong can send even the calmest among us into a fit of hate-filled rage. Problem is, most of the people who suck at driving don’t know how truly bad they are. So here are five ways that you can tell if you are the driver that everyone hates.  (more…)

Drinking with friends at a party is fun. Solitary sipping can be a religious experience. Imbibing with complete strangers is an unsustainable pastime that typically morphs into one or the other of the aforementioned activities, depending on your charisma level.

For most serious drinkers, however, two is the perfect number. Think Frank Sinatra and Dean Martin, Hemingway and Fitzgerald, Homer and Barney. Finding a friend who shares your likes (drinking), your dislikes (being sober), and who shares your ambitions (to get drunk) is one of life’s little joys. Who doesn’t like to while away the semi-comatose hours on a barstool, a set of bleachers, or a busted living-room sofa; secure in the knowledge that the person next to you will not be judging your excess consumption? That he will, in fact, spur you on to even greater achievement in the alcoholic arts?

If you haven’t found your drinking buddy yet, the following tips will help you find that certain special someone. If you know this person already, good for you! Read the list and smile knowingly as you and your DB knock back a shot for each simpatico trait you share. (more…)

Dating is hard. Just when you think you have women figured out they throw you a curve ball, even adult film stars. Sure everyone thinks porn stars are easy, what with all the money shots. The truth is, they have standards. To learn these standards we talked to the star of COED favorite, “Strap a D**k to Me” and proprietor of Leggylana.com, Lana Cox for advice on how to woo the women of our late night fantasies. (more…)

After posting our 52 Best Natural Breasts of All-Time, much debate erupted over whose lady lumps were real and whose were more fake than a campaign promise. To some, the difference between real breasts and fake breasts couldn’t be more obvious. But with advances in plastic surgery, it’s getting harder for anyone to tell the difference. Still, a few details exist that can expose which one’s are all-natural and which were made in a factory. So read on and never be fooled again!

A Green Card is your ticket to working the land of Tom Cruise and Coca Cola. Many have risked their lives crossing the U.S. border just to get the chance to work and make minimum wage on our shores.

The counterfeit Green Card boom kicked off in 1986 when the Federal law required all employers to verify legal status before hiring an employee. This put a crimp on the illegal work force, if immigrants couldn’t present a Green Card that equaled no job!

So why not massively speed up the process? Why not get a black market Green Card. It’s easier than you think. (more…)

Facebook made big news this week after reports came out of a new user agreement that basically makes it possible for Facebook to turn your wall posts into a g*ddamn coffee table book (or do whatever else they want to try to make money off of your life).

Well, needless to say, everyone freaked the hell out out. And after two days of protest, Facebook decided to revert back to their previous terms of service. (more…)

I conned my way into being lovable PeaNUT, the team mascot for the minor league baseball team, the Modesto A’s. Yes, for one inning they allowed me to don an elephant outfit and be the lovable team mascot PeaNUT. During that one-inning of glory I learned many sports team mascot tips which I love to pass on: (more…)

When one thinks of carnies, what springs to mind is missing teeth, crystal meth, small hands, and the smell of cabbage. These are stereotypes. Like old west outlaws, their freewheeling, nomadic lifestyle—moving from town-to-town—lends itself to a life wholly outside of mainstream society, speaking a language entirely all their own, in a world filled with hardened, scary, scary people.

But I went undercover and became a carny at the 162 Gibson County Fairgrounds in rural Indiana, where not only did I sleep in a trailer behind the Tilt-a-Whirl, but I also learned secrets to the legendary carnie games!

CARNY TIP: In the Basketball game, the balls are over-inflated, and neither the ball nor the hoop is regulation size. Forget shooting off the backboard or rim; the key is to drop the ball straight down in an alley-oop shot

CARNY TIP: The key to knocking over the milk jugs with a baseball is to try and hit it at the base of the bottom two, and not where the three jugs intersect.

CARNY TIP: How hard could it be to pop a balloon with a dart? The darts are dull and the balloons are so limp they barely holding their shape. Arc the dart so that it hits the board on a steep downward trajectory, thus using the weight of the dart to pop the balloon.

CARNY TIP: To win at the Ring Toss Game, snap your wrist as you throw the ring to achieve the most spin possible, this will stabilize the ring making it easier to land cleanly on your target.

CARNI TIP: The highly insular nature of carny society has fostered popular suspicions of inbreeding, supposedly manifested by a tendency towards small hands or thumbs.

Harmon Leon is the author of The American Dream

I go to the public library sometimes to use the free Internet. So does a guy that likes to watch porn. There I am, checking my email and whatnot, when all of a sudden I glance over to a face full of ass and balls. It doesn’t really bother me – I visit PrettyFatAndNaked.com all the time. However, unlike this guy, I have a healthy amount of shame that prohibits me from doing so in public. If you’re a normal guy like me (and I use the term loosely), you don’t like people finding out about your porn habits.

Unlike some of my friends, I’ve never been caught with my pants down. They claim I’m lucky, but luck has nothing to do with. I have system, and after you read this article, you will too. Here’s how to watch Internet porn and not get caught: (more…)