As we all know, the Europeans love their body painted babes. (And we love them, too!) It seems like every chance they get, they’re stripping down a hot chick to slather her in their team’s favorite colors. Here in America, however, this most excellent trend is just catching on. So to help get things rolling, let us present to you, Bodypaint Babe Bonanza: American Sport Edition!

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With Plaxico Burress having just been sentenced to two years in jail for possessing and discharging a firearm in a public space, we are reminded that these masters of the field and the court are just people, too. They make mistakes, and have to pay for them. However, sometimes the mistakes they make are so hilariously idiotic, we can’t help but make fun of them. Here are the 12 Dumbest Convicted Athletes. (more…)

Now that the Detroit Red Wings have finished off the Chicago Blackhawks in the West, the NHL is looking forward to its iconic figurehead avenging last year’s Stanley Cup Finals loss against the league’s marquee franchise – Sidney Crosby and Co. vs. the Detroit Red Wings, who are now at 1-2 in the Stanley Cup Finals, which game four schedule for Thursday.  This represents the league’s first rematch in 25 years when the New York Islanders and Edmonton Oilers did battle in consecutive years (1982-83 and 1983-84). (more…)

Once the Washington Capitals completed a thrilling series comeback win over the New York Rangers from down three games to one, the heads of the league watched the final period of the Carolina Hurricanes vs. New Jersey Devils Game 7 anxiously, hoping Carolina could rally to force a marquee ‘best case scenario‘ matchup in the second round – Sidney “The Next One” Crosby vs. Alex “The Great” Ovechkin. (more…)

WTF is this all aboot?! If you’ve ever seen an episode of South Park you know that Canada has always lived in America’s shadow. But now it seems that our neighbors to the north are owning us in some pretty important caragories: wealth, happieness and sex.

A recent study shows that Canadians work less, live longer, enjoy better health, are wealthier, and have more sex than Americans. For instance, Canada’s median family household income clocks in at US$122,000; in America, it’s $93,000. Yeah, we felt sick to our stomachs, too.

Go ahead and verifty the numbers for yourself, but remember: although Canadians are wealthier, happier and have more sex, America’s got the nukes (Canada doesn’t), Canada runs on the metric system (practicality is lame); they only gained their independence from England in 1982 (thought they still have to vow allegiance to Queen Elizabeth). Canada doesn’t have the tropical weather of Hawaii, Guam, Puerto Rico or southern Florida. The Canadian football league sucked–and we stole hockey and John Candy!

Check out South Park’s episode “Canada on Strike” featuring Stephen Abootman here!

You know I love ice hockey. I think cheese is the one thing I love more than ice hockey. I loved it so much as a kid, I even enjoyed getting up at 4AM on Saturday mornings, giving up my cartoon time, for hockey practices. And I was a fat kid too. Hockey is not a friendly game to the fats.

I can understand when the fatter kids play soccer or basketball or are automatically a catcher in little league – but hockey is different. I have never seen a fat kid playing ice hockey. It is just unnatural, like sex after 60. You are constantly moving, you have about 20lbs of equipment on and you have to wear a restricting helmet with a mouth piece, which obstructs the wheezing. People could die.

What I have also never seen is an Asian hockey player. I know that black people have made great strides this past decade in their pursuit of dominating another American sport, but never an Asian. I think we Americans should make a conscious effort to get more Asians into hockey. There are many Asian-Americans in this country, so why not recruit them to one of the nation’s fondest sports?

I think this could work. By 2010, expect a brand new National Hockey Reague.

The Freckled Finger is an amazing site… check it out when you get a shot!

This unbelievable brawl went down in the Russian Superleague on January 8, 2008. A total of 378 penalty minutes were given out.

When David Arsenault took over the men’s basketball program at Grinnell in 1989, the school had closed with its 25th-straight losing season. A 1,400-student liberal arts college near Des Moines, IA, Grinnell is a Division III school meaning that they don’t offer athletic scholarships of any kind. The average SAT score is 1,350. Recruiting top-flight basketball players isn’t easy.

“Our players needed a change,” admits Arsenault. “They were not happy, I wasn’t happy and no one came to see us play. I decided to experiment and have some fun.”

Arsenault created an offense never seen before in college basketball, a frantic run-and-gun assault that Terry Glasgow, the head coach of Monmouth College, described as “watching five mice let out of a shoebox.” (more…)