As if the media hasn’t spent enough time ravaging the metaphorical colon of people across the internet and TV, we arrive at the next stage in celebrity gossip evolution (or Creative Design if you are from Kansas)…the legal battle.

So here it is: Casey Aldridge, a.k.a. Little Spears’ Babby-daddy, is either 17, 18 or 19. Unfortunately, white trash don’t keep good records and for some reason there is a some discussion as to how old he is.

People are looking at Casey’s MySpace page, which has him at 17; his old school records that have him at 19. However, the latter records come from his Principal, who is trying to hold the school yearbooks to make extra money. It’s about as trustworthy as the Mitchell Report.

My roommate is pre-law, so here is the $.50 tour:

- If he is 17, he is just another genius who knocked up a Spears girl and won the “K-Fed Lottery”

- If he is 18, there are some state statutes that would allow for a 2 year differentiation between consent and statutory rape

- If he is 19, he is f**ked (more…)

First there were rumors that Ashlee Simpson and Pete Wentz of “Fall Out Boy” got “his and hers nose jobs” and although there is no proof I wouldn’t put it past them. Then the rumors were flying that Simpson was knocked up. If this were true I’d petition for a court ordered paternity test cause I’m still convinced Wentz is a homo. Getting back to the point the latest rumor from the ultimate musical sell-out faux emo power couple is they are to be hitched in spring of 2008. $50 says Pete Wentz hyphenates his last name… Pete Wentz-Simpson. (more…)