Dogs are supposed to be your best friend. Would you shave off half of your best friends hair and die the rest of it different colors? Actually, don’t answer that. I would have no problem taking the owners of dogs like that out behind the barn and ‘Old Yeller’ the sh*t out of them, then having an open casket funeral where they are on display wearing a ridiculously ugly sweater they would have only put on their dog. These 50 dogs’ owners are my first candidates.

Nothing is more destructive to a person’s ego than a bad haircut. You can only pull off the “what, I just really like this hat” off for so long before people start to question what’s going on. And no one understands that better than a small child getting his very first hair cut. Because he knows that if this isn’t the time the barber slips up and shaves everything besides a rat-tail, next time certainly could be.

Don’t you just want to hit people in the face when they prance down the street with their butt-ugly frilly dogs? Don’t you want to put dogs in sweaters out of their misery? Like it’s bad enough that people insist on dressing their dogs like people (newsflash: your dog doesn’t think she looks hot in that bikini), but it’s worse when people inflict pain like a bad haircut onto an innocent animal.

Our friends over at Deadspin uncovered a pretty priceless video clip of the recently named Republican Vice-Presidential Candidate Sarah Palin… as a 24-year-old sports broadcaster named Sarah Heath.
It was 1988 and mullets weren’t just the do of choice for hockey players and country singers, but beloved and desired by all, men and women alik… Click to read more