4….3….2….1! Happy New Year! A brand new year lies ahead, but first we must make it through New Year’s Eve. The best New Years I ever had was when I was nine, and I took out all my parents pots and pans and banged them together at midnight. Since then, there’s been a trajectory course downward in the appeal for this holiday. It’s basically amateur night, with too much pressure on having an ultimate evening out. So here’s a guide on how to have a good New Year’s Eve.

1) Rent a Private Jet
Celebrate New Year in every time zone, by flying across country from east to west.

2) Kiss Complete Strangers
Yes, kiss people who you’ve NEVER met before in your whole entire life, and who, perhaps, you’ll never see again—EVER!

3) Sleep With Complete Strangers!
This is just like kissing complete strangers, but it involves sleeping with people you’ve NEVER met before in your whole entire life and who, perhaps, you’ll never see again—EVER!

4) Drink Too Much
Yes, booze it up! Maybe even become sick! Say embarrassing things to people. Tell your friends you love them! Scream at people on the street. Get sick again.

5) Time Square
See them drop the New Year’s Ball. Feel what it’s like to be crushed in a really big crowd, to the point of unpleasant.

6) Say Funny Things
Say “See you next year” to people you see before New Years, and wont be seeing until after. This causes comical-confusion, implying that you might not see this person for 365 days. See how funny that is?!

7) Have A Bad Hangover
On New Year’s Day, say things like “Boy! Do I have a bad hangover!” and “Where did I lose my house keys?”

Today’s Cyber Monday, and that means great online deals all day. And unless you want to get trampled, I’d say it’s best to stay home this year and get all your shopping done online and out of the way of the angry mob. So I’ve compiled a ton of online options to get the job done for (pretty much) everyone in your gift-giving circle. A lot of them are interchangeable, depending on the people in your life, so don’t get stuck on the categories. But I will say, if you choose one site for every person on your list, you’ll have that whole “Christmas spirit” thing out of the way and you can just go watch some football.

Check out The Complete Guide to Christmas Shopping Online: (more…)

1) English is as hard for them as Algebra is for you.

There’s nothing wrong with knowing two languages. Actually it’s pretty cool. But if your professor teaches at a University in the U.S and they are not a fluent English speaker, and they aren’t teaching the language they are fluent in, you could be in for a rough time, especially if the class is science or math. The only thing more difficult then college level mathematics is college level mathematics from Russia (with love).

2) A complete lack of syllabus.

In college, stuff matters. Papers, grades, stuff that is trivial in High School gets more weighty once you sign away a few thousand bucks a semester. A syllabus is a contract between you and the professor to minimize f*ck-ups on both ends. With a syllabus, they can’t bust a giant exam on you and be all “I said!”, and you can’t claim you misheard the due date for the term paper (damn!). If your professor doesn’t come with a syllabus on day one, ask about it. If they don’t have plans for one, you may in some troubs. Write all important dates down.

3) Where did I put my…

People who forget stuff a lot can be cute. Unless you pay them to teach and grade you. Then it’s just annoying. We admit, teachers are people and forgetting stuff is fine, occasionally, but if your teacher forgets most of the stuff they were supposed to bring during the first week, you can bet on a semesters worth of waiting for AV equipment that wasn’t requested and photocopies that didn’t get made. Your assignments are at least slightly in your control, so make 2 copies and keep one for yourself. (more…)

So you booked a $225 plane ticket to Europe with ZoomAir, obtained your passport, read our guide on how to avoid health problems abroad and now there is one thing left to do–get wasted, see some culture, get wasted, hook up with a broad abroad (23% of women in Europe deliberately binge on alcohol and drugs to improve their sex lives), get wasted and do it on the cheap.

Hostels are very hit or miss–and your overnight experince will dictate whether you leave your trip abroad with memories of greatness or haunted dreams. (more…)