Damn, girls are awesome, aren’t they? I mean, they’re soft, they smell good, and when the get drunk they seem to all start groping each other like they’re at a Caligula party. Like most things with women, we have no idea why they do it. Maybe it’s for attention, maybe it’s just because boobs are freakin’ awesome. But who cares? With pics like these, everybody wins!

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In the dark, dank pit of perversion that is the human psyched, nuzzled somewhere between necrophilia and jerking off with your left hand, sits the strange desire to do horrible, disrespectful things to statues. Something about their inanimate, helpless nature seems to bring out the rapist in even the most virtuous among us. And if you ask us, that’s f**king hilarious. Posting pics of this was a big trend online two or three years ago, but that’s an eternity in Internet years, so we thought it was time for a comeback, revitalized with a massive compilation of the wickedest statue-touching we could find.

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Way to go, Jena Six: your copycats are even more ignorant than you racist pricks. (WCBSTV)

Way to go, Jena Six: you’ve ruined Halloween for the rest of us. (Des Moines Register)

Hey fellas, measure your wang accurately with the “phallumeasure.â€? (College Candy)

A Californian dentist feels around for cavities…in women’s heaving chest cavities. (My58)

Doctors tell London fatties to take a hike. (UK Metro)

WATCH OUT FOR INCOMING PUMPKIN TORPEDOES! (United Press)