Who needs red-carpet bragathons like the Golden Globes and Oscars when the Razzies are around?

The 2008 Razzie nominations for the worst films and performances of the year have been announced, and it seems that playing multiple roles in terrible movies doubles your chances of bringing home the not-so-prestigious award. (more…)

I could rant on about the Golden Globes (or lack thereof), but when it comes down to it, you just want to know who won, right? Right.

On behalf of the winners, I would like to thank God/agents/producers and you at home!

Actors and actresses already get too much exposure and credit for a job well done – bring on a WGA-free Oscars, I say.

2008 Golden Globe Winners:

Best Actress, Drama – Cate Blanchett, I’m Not There

Best Song – “Guaranteed,” Into the Wild

Best Actress, Musical or Comedy- Marion Cotillard, La Vie En Rose

Best Supporting Actor – Javier Bardem, No Country For Old Men

Best Original Screenplay – Joel and Ethan Coen, No Country For Old Men

Best Actress, Drama – Julie Christie, Away From Her

Best Original Score – Dario Marianelli, Atonement

Best Director Motion Picture – Julian Schnabel, The Diving Bell and the Butterfly

Best Actor, Musical or Comedy – Johnny Depp, Sweeney Todd: The Demon Barber of Fleet Street

Best Motion Picture, Musical or Comedy – Sweeney Todd: The Demon Barber of Fleet Street

Best Foreign Picture – The Diving Bell and the Butterfly

Best Actor, Drama – Daniel Day-Lewis, There Will Be Blood

Best Picture, Drama – Atonement

We recently chimed in with our thoughts on the truncated Golden Globes, stating that the awards show is barely relevant to even the most hardcore pop-culture follower. The Academy Awards, on the other hand, are a far larger affair.

With the Golden Globes being scaled down to a high-society press conference, is the axe looming over the Oscars?

The 80th Annual Academy Awards are scheduled to be broadcast live on February 24, with the nominees announced on January 22, less than two weeks away.

Under the usual circumstances, a staff of writers would be knee-deep in zingers come January 22 – but no dice this year, with all this WGA strike hullabaloo.

Even Bruce Davis, the Academy’s executive director, doesn’t sound very optimistic about the shows’ outcome: “I’m not going to cite odds, but our hope is we can work something out or that the strike is resolved in time.” Ouch.

Has the WGA finally broke down the corporate heads? Quite possibly: Jon Stewart is scheduled to revisit his role as host at the Oscars, but in lieu of recent events may or may not follow through with his part of the bargain. If that’s the case, the Academy has no host, let alone a shoe-in ready to fill Stewart’s spot.

This situation is sticky. A resolution is in order, methinks…

Straight from the network’s million-dollar mouth:

“There will be a press conference this afternoon announcing that the Globes Awards ceremony will not go on. Here is the plan:
At 9 PM there will be a press conference covered by NBC News announcing the Golden Globe winners. (9pm-10pm)
At 8 PM, we are negotiating with Dick Clark Enterprises for a one-hour retrospective/clip show.
At 7 PM, we will air a Dateline with clips and interviews with nominees. (Currently scheduled to air for two hours on Saturday night.)
At 10 PM, we will broadcast an “Access Hollywood” style, Golden Globes party show…visiting the various parties in Hollywood”

OH NO! What ever shall we do without an awards show with high production values where celebrities’ applaud each other for their brave acting choices? How can we live without red-carpet events that salute the overpaid, overanalyzed and overrated?

But don’t fret yet, pop-culture lovers: the Golden Globes are only being “scaled back.” It all seems a bit suspect, seeing that three-hours worth of clips, irrelevant interviews and “party clips” from Tinseltown’s biggest parties is hardly considered trimming content.

The WGA has won the battle! Oh wait, I just remembered: nobody cares about these award shows, outside of the talent nominated and fanboys obsessed with celebrity.

For the average Joe who prizes interesting television over whiny, egocentric bitchfests, this is a win-win. Use your time wisely this Sunday, January 13 – don’t drop the ball and tune in, not even for a second. Don’t boycott NBC; boycott the upper-class altogether. If that includes the WGA, so be it.

With the writer’s strike still going strong, the WGA has denied invitations to prepare material for the Golden Globes on January 13 and the Oscars in February. If both events didn’t seem crappy enough last time, they should be craptacular this time around.

(See what happens when you don’t get pros to make jokes for you?)

This situation raises a red flag for the Oscars in particular. With Jon Stewart returning as host it’s assumed that he will have to “wing it” without any writer’s assistance. Sure, Stewart can handle a fair share of improvisation – but an entire show? That’s a tall order. (more…)